Showing posts with label how to have open marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label how to have open marriage. Show all posts

Sunday, February 24, 2013

How do you feel about an open marriage?

After doing my own research on the topic of open marriage for a few years now, I have gathered information that I feel may be helpful on this complex topic. I was asked to give my opinion on the Ricki Lake show as an advocate for open marriage, but what I though was missing out of the discussion was the concept of what an open marriage really is.

Do I personally think that an open marriage is practical, no I do not think that it is practical.  Do I think that an open marriage can work for some couples, yes I do, but for how long and how many will last in the marriage? 

For the couples that go into a marriage with the idea that it is an open marriage from the beginning have a better chance at maintaing this type of relationship.  Couples that are already married and then at one point a spouse wants to introduce open marriage this type of marriage is less likely to work.  One reason why this may come about is because one spouse is usually unhappy in the marriage and is desiring a change.

The decision to make an already momogmous marriage open should not be taken lightly, as there are many factors involved.  One factor that I brough about on the Ricki Lake Show was the idea of exposing children to an open marriage, many times adults don't even get the concept, let alone a child being introdued to a lover.  Open marriages of any type are best left for adult knowledge only, not involving the family life.  One couple on the show that was interviewed, was introding their lovers to family members and the children as well.  With open marrige being as complicated as it is there is no reason to involve anyone else in the matter.  Adult time should be just that left to the couple and whom ever they may want to involve in their private lives.

When couples seak counsling with me to explore the idea of open marriage, one of my conversations is about boundaries, rules, open communication and the willingnes to work on the marrige before venturing out and adding a new partner into the mix.

For any questions or comments on the topic please leave your opinion!

 

Monday, May 21, 2012

Saving my marriage by having an open marriage

The concept married couples of having an open marriage is such a taboo subject that most people will not even look at the reasoning behind it. 

The reason to have on open marriage is so that each person has the opportunity to have a fling or an affair without lying, or cheating on each other.  What married couples don't realize is that one or the other person in the marriage has already cheated or is thinking about cheating.  The end result when this does happen is that the cheated on spouse is left feeling hurt and humiliated.  One of the facts concerning an open marriage is that it can help the couple form ending the marriage in a time consuming messy divorce.

When a person has been cheated on in a marriage, the number one issue that come up is the fact that they were lied to and how embarrassed and ashamed they feel from it.  Open marriage is not a solution for every couple, but one that can work for some.  The idea of an open marriage, is one based on honesty , friendship and love.  The ability to open the door for the excitement of even being allowed to have sex with another person, could spark an old flam and create a new one in the marriage itself.

The concept seems to go against the gain of the morality of marriage, but so does the fact that many couples live in a sexless marriage and that goes against the grain of nature.  No longer having intimacy with a spouse, or sex feeling like it is a chore, is not what human sexuality is about or it will ever be about.  Marriage is not a prison where a person is not longer allowed to enjoy sex or sexuality, it a union that two people choose to get into and make work, sex in marriage does take work, especially over time. 

For more information on open marriage and sex therapy visit The Happy Spouse.

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