Thursday, November 3, 2011

Why a Man Does Not Want to Have Sex With His Wife

This is a topic that most people find taboo, that a man does not want to have sex with his wife. Men are expected to be the ones pursuing the sex, not the woman, so what happens when she pursues him and then he rejects her?

This is a problem that may continue to happen especially in a depressed economy where the men are stressed, not performing in the bedroom and have lost their desire to have sex... The situation is often two fold and this is where in the beginning stages the couple can get the help that they need before too much hurt and resentment set in.

A mans ego is tied to his ability to take care of his family and when he losses his job or is in a position of stress over finances it can affect his performance in the bedroom. At this point a man may still have desire for his wife, but get in the frame of mind where he is so stressed that he losses his erection or can’t perform at all. Then the cycle begins where he gives up on sex altogether even when asked for by his wife.

When a woman gets rejected by her husband after she has approach him for sex, she may internalize this as her husband no longer being attracted to her or desiring her.  The difference between this happening to a man is that in many ways society jokes about how sex is over when a man gets married, but happens when it’s the women. Women find it very difficult to talk about their husbands not wanting to have sex with them for fear of embarrassment.

As a sex therapist and marriage counselor I work with couples in this situation and help them to open up and communicate with one another about their sex lives. This is a big part of the problem and that is they expect each other to fix the situation without really knowing what to fix.


Steve says

There are a lot of reasons to not have sex with your wife, here are a few: she is no longer attracted to him, he is no longer attracted to her, she is in poor health, he is in poor health, it is too physically difficult, he is cheating, she is cheating, they have agreed to stay together for other reasons, she does not enjoy it, he does not enjoy it, they do not have sufficient privacy, etc.
Perhaps his libido is low and he has no interest in sex at all. Maybe they had enough sex to last a long time. Maybe he is afraid he will be rejected. He does not like himself, how could she? She doesn't like herself how could he?

They are finished having children, they do not need to have sex anymore. They do not want to have any more children but have no other birth control.

Sassypoetic says

If all husbands truly love their wives, they would have desires for only their wives... And if he is rejecting her she need to communicate quickly and see what the problem is and spice things up, also many times a man might be going through something.. It's best to be open minded and ask questions.. Because the last thing a wife wants is for some other woman to satisfy her husband's sexual appetite.

Pollyannalana says

He could have sexual problems or preferences he does not even realize. Some husbands let porn destroy their marriages; some are just not interested in sex. There is always help somewhere, they should not waste time for them or their mate and find the answer to not waste time in their life.

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