Sunday, February 24, 2013

How do you feel about an open marriage?

After doing my own research on the topic of open marriage for a few years now, I have gathered information that I feel may be helpful on this complex topic. I was asked to give my opinion on the Ricki Lake show as an advocate for open marriage, but what I though was missing out of the discussion was the concept of what an open marriage really is.

Do I personally think that an open marriage is practical, no I do not think that it is practical.  Do I think that an open marriage can work for some couples, yes I do, but for how long and how many will last in the marriage? 

For the couples that go into a marriage with the idea that it is an open marriage from the beginning have a better chance at maintaing this type of relationship.  Couples that are already married and then at one point a spouse wants to introduce open marriage this type of marriage is less likely to work.  One reason why this may come about is because one spouse is usually unhappy in the marriage and is desiring a change.

The decision to make an already momogmous marriage open should not be taken lightly, as there are many factors involved.  One factor that I brough about on the Ricki Lake Show was the idea of exposing children to an open marriage, many times adults don't even get the concept, let alone a child being introdued to a lover.  Open marriages of any type are best left for adult knowledge only, not involving the family life.  One couple on the show that was interviewed, was introding their lovers to family members and the children as well.  With open marrige being as complicated as it is there is no reason to involve anyone else in the matter.  Adult time should be just that left to the couple and whom ever they may want to involve in their private lives.

When couples seak counsling with me to explore the idea of open marriage, one of my conversations is about boundaries, rules, open communication and the willingnes to work on the marrige before venturing out and adding a new partner into the mix.

For any questions or comments on the topic please leave your opinion!


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Our culture insists that everyone must get married to be a legitimate adult. The issues begin there. An "open" marriage is an oxymoron and begs the question, why? Live with a like-minded individual and be as "open" as you like. It's rather silly to participate in THE institution that precludes the possibility of open and then wrestle with how to make it work. If we were nearly as obcessed with being honest with ourselves and our partners as we are with the need to be married, we would have much healthier relationships.