Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Mother's Day Advice For Men

As mother’s day approaches I am always left with a mixed bag of emotions.  Growing up in the United States and following the culture, and holidays of an American family, Mother’s day was a big event that happened once a year.  My father would buy my mom a card, a gift and we would all go out as a family to brunch or someone in the family would host one for all the moms.  It was a favorite childhood experience of mine.  When I grew up and got married, had children of my own, my husband at the time did not grow up celebrating American holidays. Therefore he simply did not see the importance of them.  I would still celebrate with my mom and extended family and my children, but he did not get me a card or gift from the kids or himself.  He never understood the difference in cultures and how important it was to me celebrating certain holidays such as Mothers Day. 

As a professional counselor I help couples with their intimate lives in my private practice.  I go over the concept of “Familiar”  with the couples explaining how each person has an idea of what is familiar to them based on how they grew up.  What may be familiar to one person in a relationship may not away be familiar to the other person.  Explaining this to couples helps them to better see it from the other person’s perspective.  Honoring an important event to a spouse even though the other person may not see the importance of the event is part of respecting that person’s values.  Mothers’ day happens only once a year, so honoring a woman who is a mother if that is the tradition she was raised in is the right thing to do.  Making her feel special instead of ignoring that day will go a long way setting up positive feelings towards each other in a relationship.  The opposite is also true, not honoring her or being stubborn about celebrating it with her on that day if it is her "familiar" will only make her feel bad about the relationship and cause her to dreed mother’s day each year.  Lasting relationships are built on mutual respect and love, honoring each other and doing the best to make the other person happy, when this happens then the relationship will blossom.  Mother’s day is a time to be thankful to all the moms in the world who give of themselves not only to their children or step-children but to their families and significant others.  Both men and women can honor a mom, tell her that she is a great mom, and let her know how much you appreciate her even if she is not your mom, your wife or the mother of your children, she is still a mom and if you love let her know.  Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world, as well as one of the most rewarding.  To all of the beautiful mom’s, I personally want to wish you a happy mother’s day and let you know that you are appreciated!
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