Sunday, January 2, 2011

How Do I Know If My Husband Is Gay?

The Spectrum Of Heterosexual And Homosexual
This is a topic that needs to be addressed and one that I have been professionally asked advice on. This is not as uncommon as one may think and this goes for women as well but in this article we will be addressing the issues of is my husband gay.

What is the spectrum of heterosexual and homosexual?

There is a spectrum of 1-10, 1 being homosexual and 10 being heterosexual.  Five would be considered bisexual, we can work our way in-between.

There are ten signs that a wife can look for if she thinks that her husband may be gay. Some of these may seem stereotypical, but in reality they are not, and from experience with past clients some of these signs are very real. (yes some heterosexual men do a few of these things but it is not typical)

1:  Sex in the marriage: This can be a tricky one but hold on I will give you a few great tips:

a. Your husband does not want to have sex at all, or has a difficult time getting into the mood to have sex with you.

b. Your husband has sex with you but is not into it, and never initiates it with you.

c. Your husband seduced you in the beginning of marriage but once in it, he no longer wants to have sex with you.
d. He gets turned on by nude pictures of men or movies; he may hide this from you but keep an eye out for it.

2: He puts down gay people especially gay men, is uncomfortable around them and makes it a point to say rude things. (He is in denial of being gay)

3. He prefers to be around his male friends more than you, i.e. on a Friday or Saturday evenings, prefers the company of men.

4. He has a very close guy friend that you many suspect is gay himself. This could be his partner, or a man that he is interested in. (called the down- low)Down-low (sexual slang) - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

5. He likes to do overly macho things and makes sure that people notice he is doing them. He is trying to over compensate for his feelings of being gay.

6. He has more clothe in his closet than you do. (stereotyping yes but also a sign)
7. It takes him longer to get ready to go out for a night out on the town, then it takes you, primping hair, changing his clothe several times, asking you repeatedly how he looks. (Involves insecurity in who he is, not happy with himself)

8. He treats you like a friend rather than his wife. This is also a big sign to look for, this man may have married you because he thinks that you are his best friend.

9. He comes up with excuses for where he has been. This is also a red flag.
10. You find male pornography hidden in the house, or you find it on the computer, male chats, products, the computer has a history and a lot of information may be just one click away.

Women's IntuitionThese are all simple signs that there may be a problem with your husband being gay. If you suspect that your husband may be gay, a woman’s intuition is one of the strongest signs of all.

The best thing to do is talk to your husband about being gay and not brush it under the table especially if you are thinking of having children with him. If you already have children with him then you need to discuss how you feel and maybe even to seek counseling together.

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