Monday, December 5, 2011

My penis won’t stay hard what can I do?



As a sex therapist I get asked this question quite often,

“Why is my penis not getting hard, how do I maintain an erection"

This is no joking matter;  thousands of men go through this problem at some point in their lives everyday. They may be able to get an erection but are unable to keep it.

Why does this happen to so many men and how can it is fixed?

Most of the time it is psychological not medical. If a man wakes up in the morning with an erection then more likely than not it is a psychological problem.

Ruling out medical, substance abuse, prescription medication there is also, depression, anxiety, and the all mighty STRESS.

Stress seems to be one of the most predominant reasons why a man’s penis won’t stay hard. The stress can appear in many different forms, from performance anxiety, to over excitement,  anger or even moodiness. Men get moody too just like women do, and believe or not this can affect a mans ability to get a hard on. Especially as a man gets older, his testosterone levels drop and his cardiovascular system is not what it to be (as far as pumping blood to the penis).

The solution is to not go into sex with the idea that the erection won’t happen, but that there are no expectations. The idea that a man has to have a fully erect penis to be sexually excited is not true; a man can be very excited but have a semi erection. When the semi erection is noticed by the women he is with and she points it out, this is a sure way to add more stress to the situation… making for an even bigger problem, not a harder erection!

How does a man get his erection back knowing that it is a psychological problem?

One of the best ways is to go back to the basics and that is learning to masturbate all over again. The reason that I say learning is that when a man ages along with his mind and body so does his sex drive. Learning how to masturbate in different ways will help to train the mind and body to have an orgasm in different sexual positions; this is also a good technique for younger men who want to be better lovers.

Having control over the penis is about connecting the mind to the masturbation. When a man is thinking about something sexual many times he will lose that thought and switch over unconsciously to worrying about loosing his erection and then he does lose his erection. When training oneself to have control over erection and ejaculation, the mind is trained to stay in the moment and not worry about loosing the erection.


For more information on learning techniques on how to stay hard speak with Sex Therapist Dawn Michael
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