The concept married couples of having an open marriage is such a taboo subject that most people will not even look at the reasoning behind it.
The reason to have on open marriage is so that each person has the opportunity to have a fling or an affair without lying, or cheating on each other. What married couples don't realize is that one or the other person in the marriage has already cheated or is thinking about cheating. The end result when this does happen is that the cheated on spouse is left feeling hurt and humiliated. One of the facts concerning an open marriage is that it can help the couple form ending the marriage in a time consuming messy divorce.
When a person has been cheated on in a marriage, the number one issue that come up is the fact that they were lied to and how embarrassed and ashamed they feel from it. Open marriage is not a solution for every couple, but one that can work for some. The idea of an open marriage, is one based on honesty , friendship and love. The ability to open the door for the excitement of even being allowed to have sex with another person, could spark an old flam and create a new one in the marriage itself.
The concept seems to go against the gain of the morality of marriage, but so does the fact that many couples live in a sexless marriage and that goes against the grain of nature. No longer having intimacy with a spouse, or sex feeling like it is a chore, is not what human sexuality is about or it will ever be about. Marriage is not a prison where a person is not longer allowed to enjoy sex or sexuality, it a union that two people choose to get into and make work, sex in marriage does take work, especially over time.
For more information on open marriage and sex therapy visit The Happy Spouse.
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The reason to have on open marriage is so that each person has the opportunity to have a fling or an affair without lying, or cheating on each other. What married couples don't realize is that one or the other person in the marriage has already cheated or is thinking about cheating. The end result when this does happen is that the cheated on spouse is left feeling hurt and humiliated. One of the facts concerning an open marriage is that it can help the couple form ending the marriage in a time consuming messy divorce.
When a person has been cheated on in a marriage, the number one issue that come up is the fact that they were lied to and how embarrassed and ashamed they feel from it. Open marriage is not a solution for every couple, but one that can work for some. The idea of an open marriage, is one based on honesty , friendship and love. The ability to open the door for the excitement of even being allowed to have sex with another person, could spark an old flam and create a new one in the marriage itself.
The concept seems to go against the gain of the morality of marriage, but so does the fact that many couples live in a sexless marriage and that goes against the grain of nature. No longer having intimacy with a spouse, or sex feeling like it is a chore, is not what human sexuality is about or it will ever be about. Marriage is not a prison where a person is not longer allowed to enjoy sex or sexuality, it a union that two people choose to get into and make work, sex in marriage does take work, especially over time.
For more information on open marriage and sex therapy visit The Happy Spouse.
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3 comments:
You are an expert. Give my your opinion on my situation. I have been married for over 33 years. At the 7 year point I knew that I wanted a divorce. I decided to stay until our kids were adults and then get a divorce. Well my plans changed. My wife became ill with multiple sclerosis in our 10th year of marriage. Since then I have been working full time, raising the kids and living with out sex. My wife has been bedridden since 1995. Even though I want sex, I can't stand the idea of having sex with her after I have been changing her diapers and doing all the other disgusting caregiver duties for all these years. I have discussed my needs with her. So far her response has been that she can't handle me having sex with anyone else. Oh yes and her other response was to tell me that she felt that I have a mental or physical problem because I want sex so much. You are the expert, give me your opinion.
By the way, I have posed this same question to other so called "experts" over the last 5 or 6 months and not a single one of them have given me a reply. What about you?
I think that it is normal to have a sex drive and want to have sex. It is give and take in a relationship, I understand your wife's situation, but that does not discount your need for sex. It is her responsibility still as your wife to give you pleasure or allow you to seek it else where. There are things that the two of you can do to have that sexual intimacy, but if she is not willing to work at it then you have a to decide what you want to do.
How do you say everyone is entitle to do what works in their marriage and also say people who do open marriage are insecure?
So, open marriage doesn't work? Will and Jada been married for well over 10 years.
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