Reasons Why A Woman Cheats In The Marriage

Fact, more married women are cheating on their husbands than ever before.

The reasons a woman cheats may be different than why a man cheats. In this article we will look at the psychology reasons of why a women cheats. 

 

Keeping her emotions in check

 
There are more women cheating in a marriage than statically calculated and that is because woman cheat differently than men and the men that woman are cheating with are less likely to blow their cover.

If the woman can keep her emotions in check with the man that she is having the affair with, he will most likely not pressure her to get out of the marriage or cause a problem in the marriage for her. Women are capable of this type of relationship, but typically when this happens she will also begin to emotionally leave the marriage as well. A man can have an affair for the sole purpose of having sex, where as some woman might be able to do that, but normally a woman is more at risk for getting emotionally involved. Men are much better at placing their feeling aside and getting on with their day, whereas a woman will allow her emotions to take over and the relationship she is having outside the marriage can eventually consume her thoughts.

A woman can emotionally leave her marriage while in it

The other problem that takes place when a woman is having an affair is that she will emotionally leave her marriage while in it, meaning that she is capable of ending the marriage in her mind while still in the marriage. When a man does finally take notice that his wife has become distant and aloof and then suggests marriage counseling nine times out of ten it will be too late to save the marriage.

When a woman cheats in a marriage it is typically much more devastating on the marriage than when a man cheats because of the emotional attachment.

The Five Reasons A Woman May Cheat

There are five main reasons why a woman will cheat in a marriage.

1. She is lonely:

This woman may be married to a man who travels frequently for work, or in the military. He may also be just a man that is not emotionally available and unemotional in the marriage. The wife feels all alone and will look for someone who she can connect with on an emotional level. Eventually this may lead to a sexual affair, but even without the sex the emotional cheating has already begun.

2. She is not longer attracted to her spouse or never was:

This is a woman who probably has an active sex drive and needs to find enjoyment outside of the marriage. She could have possibly married her husband for money and not for love and has gotten board with the relationship and is looking to have a little fun. This type of cheating is most likely less emotionally involved and more about the excitement and sexual pleasure. This type of cheating is not one that is going to end a marriage and she may have numerous affairs through the life of the marriage. This type of woman is crafty and capable of emotionally shutting down when she needs to and unless caught will continue to casually cheat.

 

3. Her husband puts her down:

This is a woman who has been beaten down by her husband; he may be controlling over her or overly critical of her. If this woman worked outside the house she may look for a man that can save her, and she could actually be prey to another controlling man if she does not deal with her insecurity issues and problems at home. This can be a very bad situation when children are involved.

4. The woman who needs to escape:

This may be a woman who is over whelmed with her life, too much responsibility, kids, home, husband, work, no time to herself, always giving and not getting in return. She may look to another man for distraction from her life, a way to slip out of reality and into a fantasy world. This could involve chatting on the computer, intimate phone calls and last minute get aways. This can be both an emotional; and sexual type of affair. The warning signs of this happening are usually quite evident if a man pays attention.

5. She is living in a sexless marriage:

Women have a sex drive too!!! The fact that women are still looked at as not enjoying sex or wanting to have sex with their husbans is not based on any facts. There are just as many women as men that enjoy a healthy sex life. When a husband is no longer wanting to have sex with his wife or sexualy pleasing her, then she may go outside the marriage for a sexual relationship. She may still be in love with her husband but is tired of living in a sexless marriage.

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The Conclusion

 

There are other reasons why a woman my cheat but most woman will fall into one of these five categories.

  One solution is making sure that your wife knows that she is appreciated and loved. When men get overwhelmed in their lives some men have a tendency to shut out their wives instead of asking for their help and this can really damage a marriage.

A husband can also be aware of when his wife just seems to be over worked and needs a break. Allowing her to get some much needed R & R once in awhile can make a big difference in her outlook on the marriage.

Lastly and most import if you see your wife starts to change or slowly shuts down do something about it immediately, because when this happens it usually means that a woman is in the process of emotionally leaving the marriage.

Comments from women who have cheated

For women who have cheated in your marriage please leave a comment as to why you did it, to help others understand how to make the marriage better before cheating happens.

• Christina Nov 7, 2012 @ 12:50 am | 

  Ive been with my husband for alittle over 10 years and I have been having affair for the past 15 months. I cant explain it but the man Iam seeing takes me to a place my husband never could

•  

   

  Nov 5, 2012 @ 4:53 pm | 

  I have been married for 7 years with 2 lovely kids.since my second child was born,my hubby & i have lost connection,we still live in the same house but we were like only housemates,sex only happens once a month if lucky maybe 2x.theres no appreciation but more criticism sometimes we dont talk sensibly but he being sarcastic sometimes which makes me really annoyed thus word fight ensue.i am a nurse and work for an agency therefore i travel anywhere depending where the agency send me.it was devastating for me to travel for work leaving my 2kids behind but i never miss my hubby.ive been very lonely for the last 3years.i feel like hes near and yet so far.The fight is more intense when he is drunk.Few times i attempted to leave with my kids but i stayed only bcoz theres nobody to look after my kids when i go to work.my family is willing to help me but they have their own life too.My parents are too old to look after my lil ones.Everytime im overseas for work,i always try to call home to talk to my kids and of course to talk to them i have to do it thru their fathers fone.My hubby is never excited to talk to me,he wont even tell me how my kids are unless i ask him then he'll just say theyr ok.One time i was sent to work in this facility,i took notice of a man,quiet man.He seemed very nice and i heard much about him(he works in the same area where i work)mostly some stupid accusations unfounded.Some people say the accusations were true but i'd say 90% of the staff said not true.I was curious i wanted to know if true or not.One time i noticed him staring at me then he took the chance and approached me during some events at work then we start talking.I have learned that he is working part time in another government establishment.I found out hes actually a nice guy.He asked for my number then i got my first text the next day hence the start of daily conversation.then he asked me out few times for a drive i agreed.we had our first kiss then as time went in it progressed to more intimacy.I have fallen for him and he visits me at my place we see each other at work.we just clicked,its been few months now we have som small arguments but easily resolved.Ive never been happier.my hubby doesnt know im having an affair but my close cousin and few friends know.Im sleeping with my lover and sex is really great,hes great in bed and we i couldnt ask for more.i wish i found him before.im no longer lonely but i still miss my kids and my lover knows it.He also has teenager kids.We satisfy each others need not only sexually.As to what happens next,i still have yet to find out but i dont want to go back to my hubby.I just hope that one day my lover and i will be together forever.

• kristi, alot of women cheat because they are lonely, and are looking for spice in another experience. Nov 3, 2012 @ 4:48 am |

• James Oct 18, 2012 @ 2:56 pm | 

  Hello everyone I discoved this message my fiance sent to another man. Should I be made and leave her when she said it was nothing and the reason she sent it because she was vulneable at the moment and she swore nothing happen between them two.
  "Babe I just want to let you know how much I cherrist this relationship between you and I. You understood me more than my damn boyfriend, didn't think anyone could do that in a short period of time. I want to let you know that I will never forget you hun, never. Innocent or not you know where I come from. I want you to know that this is a good thing, and I hope this relationship will never end. I want to thank you for cheering me up when I am down, I know you will always be there for me and I for you. Thank you, I couldn't say much"

• TheGrace Oct 26, 2012 @ 12:09 am | 

  Dude, that was way too deep to be a spur of the moment thing. Your fiance is gonna pursue this guy bhind your back regardless of what shes telling you. Fuck that shit imo

• James Oct 29, 2012 @ 5:18 pm | 

  Thanks Grace, I just dont know of what to do now. I know now that the guy is from another state and she haven't send him any message as this date as I know of. And she swore will never to talk to that guy again. Man this is gonna be an issues isn't it. She have been trying to make it up to me and all sweet stuff, I dont know if this is even real.
  I dont know if I should even consider giving her another chance. Man so how can I find out if she is still talking to this guy?

• Chris R Nov 2, 2012 @ 12:22 pm | 

  Trust her. But if you cant live a trusting relationship and that means you not spying on her to see if she's emotionally cheating, and her not txting or contacting other guy(s), then it may be time to split.
  
  It will be a roller-coaster, unless you start trusting her and vice versa.
  
  By the sounds of it, you need to be more supportive when she said "You understood me more than my damn boyfriend,"
  
  Think about it, dont make any rash decisions and talk with her, support her and most of all finally love her.

• J Nov 6, 2012 @ 8:48 am | 

  she called him "babe". I have dated a few married woman. We had all the good times with out thinking about kids, bills and worring. Go with your guts. They are never wrong

• Trish Oct 11, 2012 @ 9:49 am | 

  Felt unhappy that he did not want me anymore had grewn apart, another man wanted me talk to me made me well wanted again. So left my husband for almost a year. In that time went back 3 times and left again. Then went back and talked and talked as always loved him very much and always will just not in love with him.

• sam Oct 7, 2012 @ 10:53 pm | 

  I was unfaithful due to alot of verbal abuse and disrespect over the years.I grew apart from my unappreciative husband of 25 years.I found someone that respected me and made me happy was willing to listen to me and not just dismiss what I had to say.I am still involved with him after two years.

• jerry Oct 23, 2012 @ 2:42 pm | 

  it alway like that in the beginning it will change.

• Riquesgrl1. Oct 5, 2012 @ 6:41 am | 

  I been married for 16 yrs I married young and had kids very young I also have mixed emotions about my husband the 1st time I cheated it was more for the sex I wanted to experience something different it was very selfish I know, but this last time it was like I was living a double life the guy didn't know I was married my husband was away all the time on business & when he was home we couldn't enjoy each others company with out arguing, I think my son belongs to the other man my son looks nothing like my husband nor my other kids I have never said anything because I really do want my marriage to work but he just pushes me away all the time, we don't have sex anymore I feel like we are roommates! I'm Si miserable in this marriage, I live him but not like before I cheated for a variety of reasons & I messed up royaly. I know it wasn't right..

• Julie Oct 1, 2012 @ 2:43 pm | 

  I have a lot of mixed feelings about my husband. Sometimes I feel like I truly love him and happy to be with him and other times I ask myself what am I doing with this guy, I'm not even IN LOVE with him. Is really confusing and at times I felt lonely and that's when it happened, one time with an old friend. I didn't feel guilty about it. I feel as if there's something missing in our marriage. The sex is great but there are times that he has trouble down there. I guess I like a little too much foreplay and by the time I'm ready he nearly loses his erection. After a few years of feeling this, I am still confused and want more. We have gone to counseling and I didn't feel it was helping so we stopped going. We went because one time he asked me if I loved him and I responded the truth. I was not sure if I truly did. Now he asks me if I love him and I just say I do. Even though I am still confused. He is a great man, gets me everything that I want but I feel like he is. It romantic enough. We rushed our marriage and didn't really get to know each other as we should had. I know I have love for him but I don't know if I am in love with him.

• Lisa Oct 20, 2012 @ 1:34 pm | 

  HI wow I feel exactly the same way with my husband.

• WHAT U THINK? Oct 1, 2012 @ 1:37 am | 

  THIS IS MY BULLET PROOF PLAN TO FIND A WOMEN WHO IS WILLING TO GET MARRIED AND STAY MARRIED. THE PLAN STARTS FROM THE DATING STAGE. THERE ARE 2 DATING STAGES. 1-OUTSIDE DATING- VERY 1ST STEP-U DATE OUTSIDE LIKE MOVIES, RESTAURANTS ETC... 2-INSIDE DATING- U DATE IN EITHER UR HOUSE OR HER HOUSE ..U/SHE COOK , WATCH DVD ETC... EACH OF THIS STEPS SHOULD TAKE 1 YR. 3- MOVING IN TOGETHER. MOVING INA ND LIVING TOGETHER SHOULD TAKE AT LIST 2 YEARS. 4- ENGAGEMENT -THIS STEP IS LIKE THE INITIATION FOR THE MARRIAGE. ITS LIKE LIVING LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE WITH OUT BEING MARRIED. IS THERE IS ANY DOUBT, OR SHE WANTS TO CHEAT THESE IS WHERE IT WILL HAPPEN, THIS STEP SHOULD BE FOR AT LIST 3 YRS. IF SHE REALLY LOVES THE MAN SHE WILL STAY ENGAGED AND MOVE AT HIS PACE...OR SHE WILL CHEAT AND U HAVE ESCAPED A FAILED MARRIAGE.

• yaya Sep 28, 2012 @ 1:10 pm | 

  i dont this i am ready to marri him i love 2 men at once

• unicahija Sep 18, 2012 @ 8:36 am | 

  because he doesnt give much attention to me..

• renee Sep 16, 2012 @ 11:12 pm |

  just trying to help

• Michelle Aug 28, 2012 @ 11:46 am | 

  I have desires and mixed feelings about another man and I am in a relationship of 6 years with a man that criticize me,puts me down I have never cheated before but I have not been intimate with my boyfriend in almost a year and I am starting to look somewhere else for attention

• luke Sep 18, 2012 @ 2:08 pm | 

  come with me honey

• kejadian26 Aug 4, 2012 @ 11:40 am | 

  I think its depend on a woman. Some women is faithful. Some are not. Just choose the right woman and you will reduce cheating suspicious

• Asad Oct 2, 2012 @ 12:49 pm | 

  true. once a cheater allways a cheater.
  everthing has complications... cheating is no the anwer.
  but women r so good at jutifying the wrong to right.

• Lisa Jun 8, 2012 @ 12:57 pm | 

  I had a 10 month affair and my husband discovered it through text messages. It is something that I regret and it has almost destroyed my marriage. It certainly destroyed my husband.....it haunts me everyday and sometimes the guilt is overwhelming. Although not justified, I cheated because my husband was emotionally abusive, he belittled me all the time, controlled me and devalued me constantly. It was a toxic relationship. I met someone who I felt truly loved me and I was close to leaving my marriage for the other man when we were discovered. Thankfully my husband is trying to forgive me and we are working on the problems in our marriage.

• boss69 Jul 28, 2012 @ 10:47 am | 

  hey

• boss69 Jul 28, 2012 @ 10:54 am | 

  hey i been with my woman for three years and i have yet gave her a orgam but i have made her squirt alot by given her oral sex she really loves me and i love her so do you think she will cheat on me for not giving her a orgasm

• nun yuh Sep 11, 2012 @ 6:18 am | 

  well first of all ... since you haven't given her an "orgam" .... she is just peeing in your face .. pretty much just one step away from shitting in your face for not making her cum

• Disgusted Sep 13, 2012 @ 5:13 pm | 

  10 months on your husband? I would be disgusted regardless of your reasons which you write above. If he was abusive and so on, that is unacceptable, but leave if that is the case. Don't go shagging another man behind his back. Personally, if my wife had an affair there'd be no going back, mainly for the reason that another man's **** has been up there.

• Julian Sep 25, 2012 @ 1:40 pm | 

  Really? Was she a virgin when you met her? If not, then another man's **** has already been up there. Grow up.

• HORE SAYER Oct 1, 2012 @ 1:39 am | 

  HORE HORE, WHY DID U GET MARRIED IN 1ST PLACE....H

• So youre all perfect Oct 16, 2012 @ 2:57 pm | 

  Lisa I am in the same situation as you. Ive been verbally abused for years and ebentually cheated. What these other commentators don't understand us its not easy to just leave your abuser. You lose all of your self esteem and self worth. I honestly do love my hudband but I didnt dign up to be called names evert day snd constantly be told what an idiot I am. Oh yeah im sure you also dont have many friends anymore because over the years you stopped talking to thrm becsusr of your husband. Anyone calling lisa a whore should f*77 off, unless you know how demeaning it is to constantly be put down and want to die bevause the petson who you think you love treats you like ctap everyday. My husband and I are trying to work it out but I dont know if well

• U suck Oct 25, 2012 @ 9:40 pm | 

  You suck. Selfish. Me oriented bitch

• Stan Oct 25, 2012 @ 9:39 pm | 

  You suck. You should have just grown a backbone and divorced him before you cheated

• Nothing Oct 29, 2012 @ 12:29 pm | 

  Its not easy to leave when you have been beaten down over the years.

• DevotedHisband Nov 5, 2012 @ 2:11 pm | 

  I am an extremely faithful husband who is devoted to his wife. I love her dearly and with all of my heart. I doin messages to another man only a few months after we were married and confronted her. She admitted she was stupid for why he had done and said she was not and had not been in any other type of outside relationship. Recently I have on multiple occasions found emails and text messages which are very sexual in nature to multiple men. I was never a snoop before the first time I caught her, but I have spoken to her on every occasion and have even caught her in several lies (I'm an interrogator by trade). As I said before I love my wife too much to leave or lose her. I've even considered changing lifestyles and we talked about being swingers. Personally my heart could never belong to another, it's been broken far too many times to allow tiny pieces to go hither and thither. Should I leave my wife or continue in this, our first year, of dear of having to share her with other men? I've even considered killing myself because of everything. Yes, I'm the husband...

• I just want to forgive but dont know how Oct 31, 2012 @ 9:14 pm | 

  Hi All,
  
  I recently found out my wife was cheating on me through her facebook msgs with a friend of a friend. She only meet this guy about a year ago at a wedding as they were both in the bridal party, in the past year he has tried to hit on all the single girls in the party, I always thought he was a sleaze bag. She started playing all the games like singpop and gems on her iphone with him and he started sending her messages about how beautiful she is and how did I get her. (my wife is clearly out of my league).
  
  On the other side of things life has been very tough for us trying to have a baby and I've felt she has rescendent me a bit due to my infertility problems, she believes 'I put my head in the sand' and was very hot and cold about having a child. Over the past 2 months she has found it very difficult with any of her friends annoucing pregnacies and seeing babies.
  
  She told me that this affair started a month ago from his continually comments of her beauty and they met up once at her work where they kissed.
  
  Since then she has not had another encounter but bother have asked each other to catchup, going by the messages she wrote to him she seems to have more of a liking to him since they kissed. It seems they have hardly talked since it started more just msgs and she had felt guilt the whole time as she talked it over with her friends at work and her best friend, who all said don't tell me. She seems like she was trying to put it behind her but found it hard as he was saying all the right things to make her feel special. (she has low self esteem). Once I discovered it 2 weeks ago I kicked her out and 1 of the first people she went to was him to talk to, he of course said he was busy (got scared off of the seriousness of ruining a marriage). A few days later I created an exact facebook account of him and started msging her (she deleted him straight away), I needed to know if they had a physcial relationship, which they didnt, but she did say when I kicked her out she wanted to talk with him to see if they could be together and he showed his real character by ignoring her. It sounded like she was fishing for a compliment from him again with this though.
  
  We are now trying to work through this but I'm finding it very hard, we've been together for 10yrs and married 4. She says she has never gone down this path before and was happy with our relationship and was trying to reconnect with me while this was happening (maybe from guilt). This guy asked if she would have sex with him and she said she would never do that to me, she even said she talked about me with him about how much of a good husband i am (after which he went a little cold). So I am so confused why she even went there, even she is, she is beating herself up over the whole thing. We both love each other to death.
  
  Could you tell me what your thoughts are? Would it be I wasn't there for her when she needed me most ?(dealing with infertility)
  
  Andrew

• John B Oct 30, 2012 @ 11:04 am | 

  I have never cheated on my wife and never will. My wife has had an affair and I am not bothered by it. Marriages are not perfect and spouses cannot get everything they need from each other and should be able to go outside the marriage to get what they are lacking within their marriage. If my wife needs something outside the marriage and can get it outside the marriage without permanently leaving me, there is no harm done.

• Genabee Oct 21, 2012 @ 2:29 pm | 

  I have been married for 4 years 2 years into my marriage my husband cheated on me :-( I found out the hard way he gave me a std thank god it was treatable but neither the less I have not felt the same about him us or our marriage. I am trying to forgive him but its hard even though its been a year already that I have known. He treats me more like a roommate we only have sex 3 times a month and we never go out on dates or anything. I feel really depressed and alone I have yet to cheat on him but honesty I need some type of affection the type that makes me feel like life is worth living :( I don't know what to do I am ALONE :-( could he still seeing someone else???

• why is this? Sep 15, 2012 @ 7:04 am | 

  women who cheat are a low life to begin with, and this happened to me.

• confused85 Mar 3, 2012 @ 12:01 pm | 

  i loved my boyfriend so much, but he never fulfilled me completely.. i hated the sex, but i loved him, we'd been together for 5 years. I met this amazing guy and I was head over feet completely.. i cheated on my boyfriend,.. I regret doing that.. but with this guy i reached levels that I never thought I could.. he understood me perfectly, especially in a sexual level.. i had never orgasmed before him.. and we fell in love immediately.. he asked to marry me and I see him like the man of my dreams..
  
  i adore him, but i feel extremely guilty for how i handled things.. what i had with my now ex-boyfriend was perfect for me, but it just wasn't enough probably.. I still regret the cheating, and i still feel terrible for having doing that. It was the worst time of my life so far..

• 
  

• eKusinero Feb 21, 2011 @ 11:59 pm | 

  Women are unpredictable, complicate simple things and too demanding. :)