Friday, August 30, 2013

My wife is not interested in having sex with me

How many husbands are in marriages where they are tired of begging for sex from their wives? 

If you are one of them then you may want to pay close attention to what you are going to read in this article.  A women's sex drive and desire is different than a man's.....This does not mean that her's is more or less of a sex drive, but with women, they can get turned off from sex for many reasons.  A women's emotions, feeling of love and safety all play part in her level of desire.  Another factor is physical, and this can be her cycle throughout the month as well as her hormone levels.

A list of top ten reasons why your wife may not want to have sex with you!

1.  Her hormones may be off:  She may not even realize that her testosterone levels are low and she needs to be tested and given hormone replacement or a testosterone patch.   This would involve her making an appointment with the gynecologist and getting her hormones checked.  A woman with low levels of testosterone physically and mentally will not only, "Not want to have sex but the though of it may completely disgust her".

2.  She is angry with you!  When a women is angry with her husband, it is difficult for her to get in the mood and want to have sex with him.  If you and your wife have unresolved issues that she is continually angry about then take the time to work through them.  Women need to feel love from their husbands not anger or be angry with them.

3.  She is no longer attracted to you:  This is called situational lack of desire and it can happen slowly in a marriage.  A women may find her husband no longer physically attractive.  When a man gains weight it usually goes to his stomach and breasts, instead of him having a manly appearance he now has the look of a pregnant female and not only that, it changes the way he smells.  When men gain weight their estrogen levels go up and this can affect the way he smells to her on a pheromone level.  The physical attraction is no longer there nor is the manly smell to lure her in.

4.  She no longer finds him masculine:  A man that has been overly domesticated to the point of becoming his wife's girlfriend instead of her man, is not attractive.  If you find yourself tip toeing  around the house, beg for sex, hire someone to fix the toilet instead of doing it yourself, she may find this unattractive.  Men in this type of marriage resort to passive aggressive behavior instead of being upfront and honest.  He has become her husband instead of her man, she controls him, and he allows it.  Women in general like to feel feminine and when that relationship is not longer present then the couple  just becomes buddies.

5.  She does not feel safe with her husband:  For a women to want to let herself go with a man there is a sense of safety that she needs to feel.  She may not even be aware of this, because it is an animal instinct that is part of the female brain.  This is especially true for a woman to achieve orgasm with her husband.  The difficult part about her feeling safe is that, it may encompass many details like past sexual experiences, financial security and food on the table.  Then there is trust that has to do with safety, has the trust been broken, by cheating, physical abuse, emotional abuse.  All of this plays into her feeling safe.

6.  She is not in love with her husband anymore:  A women can have sex with a man that she is not in love with, but only for so long.  When there is no love or the love is gone then so is the sex, or at least the true sexual intimacy.  Love can grow in a relationship,  but it can also fade with time. 

7.  She is not well:  This can involve physical or emotional pain, mental illness or a chronic disease.  Pain is a mood killer on any level, that goes for emotional pain as well a physical pain.  People deal with pain in many different ways, some people take drugs, others drink, some try homeopathic, counseling, or just keep it to themselves.   Whatever pain she may have all of it is a desire killer and can lead to not wanting to have sex.

8.  She is having an affair:  She is cheating on her husband, having sex with someone else on an emotional or physical level.  For women, cheating can be very different than for a man, women mostly cheat emotionally where men cheat physically.  There may not even be any sex involved but her emotions are invested in another man and she is desiring him.

9.  She is gay:  She may have wanted to get married and have children, but somewhere in between she realized that she was gay.  She is attracted to women not men and she does not know how to tell her husband about it.

10.  He has have forgotten to be her man:  He is married now and takes her and the marriage for granted.  He no longer does the things for her that he used to.   Women like to be treated like a woman, taken out to dinner, pampered here and there, made to feel loved, special, appreciated, just like a man does.  Women like the cards and roses, or even a foot or back massage, how about a hot bath and a glass of wine.  Make her dinner, kiss the back of her neck, tell she is beautiful, that you love her.....give her a hugs and a kiss her tonight, look into her eyes and see the women that you once feel in love with!....
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