Bedroom Talk: Better Sex, Starts With Appreciation

Have you ever noticed that when your spouse or significant other expresses appreciation towards you, that you suddenly feel closer to them?  That is the idea of appreciation and letting the person you love know how much you appreciate the little things that they do for you.  Appreciation can give you that warm feeling all over creating a deeper connection to your spouse.  It brings people together in a loving way which promotes better intimacy over all.  If you want sex that is more connected then start connecting outside the bedroom with appreciation towards your spouse.  As I always say, "Everyone deserves a healthy sex life, and so do you"  Give some appreciation today!

What to do when you catch your man watching porn!

Your alone in your room while your guy is in the next room getting off to porn, what do you do?  This video will educate  you on some reasons why your man may be watching porn, as well as some ideas that you can do about it.  There are ways to talk to your guy about porn without using the addiction approach, which mostly backfires and becomes a scapegoat to the real problem.  Porn is not the problem, the behavior and reason why he is watching porn instead of working on the intimacy in the relationship that is the problem.

Bedroom Talk: I Want To Tell My Wife About My Cuckold Fantasy, Video

If you are a man that is wanting to tell his wife about your cuckold fantasy, please watch before doing anything, it just may save your marriage.

Bedroom Talk: Initating Sex

Bedroom Talk: Complimenting Your Spouse

He wont have sex with me

Check out my new book released in February of 2016!
http://www.pillowbookmedia.co/products/my-husband-wont-have-sex-with-me

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Fireworks in your relationship

The fourth of July may be a fantastic way to view fireworks, but what about putting the fireworks back into a more than lack luster love life? 

Too many people in relationships, marriage have lost the fireworks in their sex life, and a few years down the line they wonder how it happened.  Life moves forward, things get busy, and the sex in the marriage takes a back seat!

Don't let another day pass you by without putting the fireworks back in your sex life:

Be proactive and make sex a priority!  .........If you don't take charge over the sex in your marriage and make it a part of your everyday life then the sex will slowly fade away over time.......

Yes!!!  Sex does take two people to engage in it and want it, but one person can change that pattern and priority of the sex in the relationship.  Make it a point to talk openly about what your expectations are for sex, intimacy, affection in the relationship.  Too many people get turned down for sex in a relationship and then instead of talking about it get angry, restful and shut down, this will only make matters worse.  Talking to each other about expectations and how to improve the overall sex, is a big part of any relationship.  Putting the fireworks back in a relationship only requires a spark!  If two people still have a sexual spark for one another then the passion can be rekindled.

Find ways to make the sex in your relationship exciting, fun, different, passionate, erotic and fulfilling..........

Ask Dawn Your sex counselor how to make sex more exciting!

When he does not want to have sex in the marriage

We often hear about the women not wanting to have sex in the marriage, but what happens when it is the man and he does not want to have sex with his wife. 

This is something that seems to be happening more and more in marriages today.  Woman and men are working equally ,raising the children together, and dividing the tasks in the household. 

When it comes to the sex in the marriage many men are experiencing erectile dysfunction, stress, and performance anxiety and not wanting to have sex with their wives but sometimes turning to other forms of sexual outlets.  The women on the other hand that are in the work place surrounded by men and not experiencing the sexual anxiety that men have but instead the sexual freedom that comes with financial independence, they are wanting to have more sex. 

The other thing that happens to  women that work with men is they are more apt to act like men in the work place to compete with men changing their attitudes to be more testosterone driven rather than feminine and this transfers over into the bedroom.

Out are the days of the masculine male and feminine female, it seems to be a shift to gender sameness, which affects men more in the bedroom than woman.  The one big problem is that for a woman who is going through this where she wants to be intimate with her husband and he doesn’t, it is socially embarrassing for a woman and much shame still surrounds it.  She will look upon herself as not being sexy or that something is wrong with her.

Men and women now a days are facing this out in the dating world as well, men are no longer the sole gender pursuing the woman for sex, but many women are looking for a man to have as a sex partner. Especially many women in their 40’s who are financially secure and are finding themselves with a high sex drive and not wanting to date older men but instead go for a younger man regardless of financial security.

The future of sex and a place where the lines of gender are becoming confused has just begun, more  women will be experiencing this in their marriage and relationships and more men will be experiencing, perform anxiety, and feeling as though the pursuing excitement and joy of a man being a man no longer exists.  The one big problem to this whole equation is that most women when having sex don’t want to be the one in control and very much like a man to still pursuer the sex in the marriage.

Reasons why a person cheats in a marriage or relationship

Most people that cheat are not liars or habitual cheaters; there is usually a reason why a person will cheat in a marriage or relationship.  People just do not wake up in the morning and decide to go out and cheat or meet someone in a bar when they are in a happy marriage or relationship.  This leads us to the question, what are the reasons why a person cheats in a marriage or relationship.

Many times a person will cheat because of a need for more affection, attention, and sexual fulfillment in a marriage.  Other forms of cheating are a way for a person to be self-destructive and end a relationship or a bad marriage.  Unless a person is a habitual cheater or liar, cheating will not come easy to them and they will feel guilt, remorse and confusion over what they have done. 

As a sex counselor and marriage counselor, I often work with people that have cheated or are actively cheating in their relationship.  I will often say to my clients that not all relationships are worth going back to and the stress of a person leading a double life is not healthy for them, and is not fair to their spouse. 

What are the solutions or answers to this very touchy subject?   If  a person in a marriage  has made a mistake and cheated once, don’t tell your spouse about it just to clear your conscious,  there is no need to confess to a one time stupid mistake, but know that if it happens again, it was not a mistake to begin with.

The second group of cheating is actually having a lover or many lovers while in a marriage or long term committed relationship and this is where I say, end the marriage and move on, because the marriage at this point is already over and the chance of bringing home a disease to your spouse may happen and that is not acceptable.

The third suggestion that I will make to some individuals is that if they still love their spouse but are not attracted to them anymore, or not actively having sex with them, they still need to be honest and lay down the lines of communication, letting them know how they feel and telling them that an open marriage would be better or a divorce.  This gives the spouse a choice of staying under this circumstance or choosing to leave.

When a person is in a marriage or long term commitment, and is actively seeking sex outside the relationship, the sex is only part of the equation, but the lying is really the most hurtful,  chose to be honest with the your spouse and give them the opportunity to make a decision to stay or to go..

For marriage and sex counseling go to Dawn Michael M.A.

Knowing when it's time to leave a bad marriage

One of the most difficult parts about being a sex and marriage counselor is helping couples to get out of a bad marriage. 

At times people get stuck in their own situation and from the inside they are not able to see the misery that they are causing each another or the children that may be involved.

Leaving a marriage is one of the most difficult decisions that a person makes because it involves other people, and in some ways is the death of a relationship or a way of life.  The loss of a marriage can cause deep emotional pain on both a husband, wife and the children involved.

The real question is,
do you stay in a marriage that is making you a miserable person and everyone else around you for the fear that you may never find someone else or that you have failed your spouse and children?  The fear that you have just become another static in a world were commitment is no longer appreciated or treasured.

This is indeed a very personal matter and one that I believe should be looked at from all areas and come to a decision based on the well being of the entire family.  My job as a counselor sometimes is just that, to help a couple get out of a bad marriage and find a place where they can rebuild their lives again separately.

The one fact remains true and that is...... if two people have tried to stay together and worked on their marriage and keep failing ......making it a misery rather than a loving home, then the conclusion of those actions need to be measured and decided upon.

Life is about living not dying or living as a zombie without love or passion in a marriage, staying together for the sake of the children or the principal of marriage itself.

 For marriage and sex counseling