Friday, January 21, 2011

Have you ever really had a love connection where you trust one person enough to show your true self?

A male and a female holding hands.Image via Wikipedia
There is a saying in life and that is “better to have loved and lost then to never love at all”

There is truth to that saying. I believe that the real meaning to that quote is that while losing a loved one is painful, not being able to have had a loved one to lose in many ways is even more painful. To go through life really never connecting with another person on a deeper level and exposing your true self.

How does a person know when they are connected to another person?
Many times there is a feeling of excitement but also a feeling of fear, fear of rejection, fear of getting hurt, even a fear of caring that deeply for another human being but still the feeling like you have arrived home, a sense of acceptance, knowing that you can tell that person anything and they will still love you. Often times in a relationship, or a marriage we will hold back our true selves so that part of us we still keep inside where it is safe and never exposed.
Many times the thought of allowing someone in or truly exposing oneself to another person is a very scary thought. The real shame of it all is that what if on our death bed in our last moments of life we come to the realization that no one ever got to know our true self because we were too fearful to expose our truest self to another, maybe that would be the greatest fear of all.

Why is the human heart so guarded?

Is it because as children we opened it so freely and got so little in return or when we did open up our emotions we were told to keep them inside or not to show them. Many times this happens to boys, even more so than girls. Especially boys under the age of 12, the boy is upset and he cries which is a very natural emotion, but he is told that he is a wimp or not a strong boy, or that he should not cry. How many little boys growing up, even when they were 3, 4, 5 6, 7 8, 9, 10 years old were told not to cry? It is sad to think that this still goes on today and that little boy’s turn into men, who are shut down from their natural emotions; they have all of these tears from being a young boy that they carry with them as men, deep down inside of them.

Are our emotions not human?

When a person feels love, joy, sadness, pain, excitement, fear, happiness, is that not what being human is all about man or woman? I guess that in life when it is all said and done and it is our time to leave earth what will be the most important part looking back on our lives? Material things, or will it be people that we loved, that we connect with, and that we were also truly loved back, will those be the sweet memories, the ones that have meaning, the ones that we choose to open up to and let in? One will never know how it feels to really share that connection with someone else until they take that chance and let it happen. Don’t let love pass you by!
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