Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Reasons Why a married man does not have a sex drive

Men are expected to have a sex drive

Many times it is just expected that a man should have a sex drive and always be ready to have sex when the opportunity arises, but that is not the case with every man. When a man is married for some time with children, work, responsibility and everyday stresses this can have a negative impact on his sex drive, especially if he does not know how to release his stress.

There are a few common reasons why a man may lose his sex drive. One of the most common reasons as mentioned is due to stress in his life and the direct impact that it can have on his libido.

Men and women deal with stress in different ways, and among men to men they may deal with stress in different ways, but more men seem to hold onto the stress in their lives as opposed to a women. A majority of men will not want to burden their wife with the stress and they also sometimes feel like if they need to talk about it or express themselves they are less of a man. This of course is not the ideal way to deal with stress and the effects of it can really play havoc on a marriage.

Depression and loss of sex drive
Another reason that a man may loss his sex drive is clinical depression, and this can happen slowly or it can just happen all of a sudden where he just gives up and no longer even tries to be sexual.

Depression can happen at any age but it is more likely to happen to a man in his forties, and if left untreated it can become a problem in the marriage and in all part of the man's life. Signs of depression in men are different than in women. One major sign of depression is lack of libido, he may also not be able to find pleasure in any aspect of his life; he may seem anxious and even exhausted at times. Depression can be heightened by over eating, lack of exercise and drug and alcohol use. If this is a problem then it can be remedied by seeing a doctor and getting on a prescriptive drug for depression.

A man can also naturally boost his sex drive by exercising regularly and taking natural supplements for depression. Eating healthy and getting enough sleep is another way to naturally boost a mans sex drive. The wonderful aspect about exercising and weight lifting is it can help to not only boost serotonin levels but also increase testosterone. Natural testosterone suppliments are available as well.

Naturally low libedo

There are some men who experience a low libido as a natural part of who they are, and when a man reaches his 40's his libido may lessen even further causing him to be not interested in sex or wanting it infrequently. He could naturally have lower testosterone levels as well and this could be part of the reason for lack of libido. In any case it is always a good idea to have a full blood panel done and to check for testosterone and serotonin levels.

After a baby is born
Lastly there is the man who does not want to have sex with his wife or appears to have no sex drive after a baby is born.

He could be experiencing a problem with his wife now becoming a mother and he no longer sees her as his lover; in cases where this does happen it is important to seek out counseling so that the couple can get the proper tools to work on this situation. The other problem that can occur when a woman has a baby is again the husband for a time will feel an overwhelming sense of responsibly and that he is turned off by these feelings and it has literally decreased his sex drive. If this is the cause of the lack of libido or no sex drive, it is important to get help right away and not allow the situation to go on for too long. This is a very difficult situation for a woman as well and can cause some very deep and lasting scars in the marriage.

Marriage counseling If you are a man and experience any of these problems or you are a wife and your husband is experiencing any of these problems, the best thing to do is to have a conversation about the situation. This would involve both husband and wife listening without judgment or anger and trying to understand how fix the situation. A man needs to be able to open up and talk to his wife about his feeling and a wife needs to actively listen without judgment or interruption. The couple can also see a marriage counselor if they need a third party for help, or they can seek individual counseling to try to figure out what the problem is and get help for themselves.

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