Married Men Sex Survey-Results

In our society there is a myth that men don't like it when a woman takes over in the bedroom.  In hope of demystifying this myth and help couples to improve their sex lives, I set out on a journey to get information from men around the world.  As I gather information for my new book I will share it with you to gain more insight on this myth.  As a means to gather more information about sex in marriage, please feel free to leave comments and join this blog to get new updated surveys and results.    Those of you who took the survey, I want to thank-you! 

Now is the time to leave your comment and expand on your questions.  As you read the results below, it becomes very clear that most of the men do like it when their wife initiates sex.  For women reading this article I am hopeful that this information will help you to better understand your husband.  The other overwhelming answers that most men agree with is that they would like their wife to initiate sex more often.  They felt that their wives wanted to initiate sex but may be shy about asking for it. 

In my new book "My Husband Wont Have Sex With Me"  We discuss some possible reasons why men may get turned off or frustrated with sex in marriage, leading to cheating or watching pornography instead of dealing with the continued rejection of their spouse.  For women who may think that men don't like women to initiate this is not true as most men do.  Men want to know how to please their wives and a woman expressing this to them is a huge turn on!
As far as men watching pornography most men would rather have sex with their wives, but will turn to pornography when their wives are not available.  This was the result for the below question "I would like to have sex everyday with my wife, but when we don't I use porn to satisfy myself and she knows about it."   29%

View Results
https://www.surveymonkey.com/results/SM-KC828HNW/

How to tell my wife that I want to be in a Cuckold marriage

As a clinical sexologist and intimacy counselor, men ask for my advice on what to do about their fetishes.  About 80% of the men are married.  for most of the men they have had the fantasy of their fetish before marrying their wife thinking that it will go away but it does not.  One type of fetish that has intrigued me over the years is a man that wants his wife to cuckold him.  He has recurring thoughts and fantasies of his wife having sex with other men and getting pleasure from them.   The husband is usually the one who wants to get his wife involved but he does not know how to go about telling her.  Once in a while I will counsel a couple who wants to explore the cuckolding together, but it is typically the man initiating this fetish.  The idea of  Cuckolding is that it involves another man that the husband wants his wife to have sex with in front of him or hear about it after.  The husband derives much satisfaction from watching his wife get pleasure from another man that typically will have a larger than average size penis.  Another aspect about cuckolding, is the husband needing to be shamed by his wife, and one way is for her to compere his penis size with the other man and let her husband know that his penis is just to small to please her.

Other forms of shaming can go along with the cuckolding as well depending on the scope of the cuckolding session.  Some men like to be tied to a chair and forced to watch, and not allowed to touch themselves while the scenario is being played out in front of them.  Sometimes a wife will place a cock cage or chastity belt on the husband so that he is not able to masturbate.  A wife may also spank her husband as a form of deeper humiliation and domination...

The man who has this fetish, dreams about his wife sharing it with him, but for the most part most men who approach their wives with this idea do not get a positive response.  It either results into a fight, hard feeling or a trial period leading to disaster.  Some women may be more open to it than others, but the majority will not.  Husbands have asked me as a professional about how to approach their wives with their fantasy of cuckolding, and the answer is always to have a session before hand with me to understand how to approach his wife and her possible respond.  I will advise my male clients who are into the cuckolding fantasy is that they need to tell their wives slowly and see what her reaction is.  Some women are more open to the idea of cuckolding than others but unless it is approached in the right manner often time it does not go well.  The history of men telling me their stories before seeing me they did not approach their wives correctly and it closed the door for them altogether. 

The fact is that once a man is interested in this form of a fetish it is hard to stop him from thinking about it and wanting to act on it!

To set up a counseling session with Dr. Dawn Michael go to www.thehappyspouse.com

Husbands that are good lovers knows their wife’s vagina is unique to her

Image via Wikipedia

What man has not struck gold in his life when he can bring his wife to orgasm, he now has the golden tick or the secret love recipe.

The truth is that yes he may have found the sweet spot on his former girlfriend and brought her to orgasm but what he doesn’t know is that her vagina and its function is not going to be the same with his wife. Often times a man will use the same technique with his wife and find that he is not bringing her to orgasm and assume that something may be wrong with her when in fact he just needs to experiment a little more. The other factor that goes into the equation is that she may also thinks her husband’s knows what he is doing and many times will blame herself for not being able to orgasm.

We now have two people who love each other but are becoming frustrated with their sex lives. A woman’s vulva (vagina, clitoris, inner lips, and outer lips) is very different in each woman the way it looks and how she may get stimulated. Some women require more stimulation, some require less, some women like to have then entire vulva played with and others may like to focus on the clitoris and g-spot. Another point that is important is for a woman to also know about her own vagina and what feels good to her so that she can show her husband, and in the same token a husband has to be open to wanting to please his wife. The sole purpose if this article is to let a husband know that his wife may not be turned on in the same way that he may have turned pleased another woman on. This does not mean that he is not a good lover or that there is something wrong with his wife but to understand the fact that her vagina may be very different.
Oral sex is one of the most misunderstood areas of sexual stimulation from women to women. What may have brought one woman to orgasm screaming with pleasure; May actually over stimulate another women and cause her irritation or even pain. This is why for both a husband and wife understanding that different vaginas require different stimulation thorough communication and touching with one another will help to achieve better sex and better sexual intimacy in the marriage.
The solution to this problem is for a husband and wife to not assume that a past technique or experience is the answer to a woman’s orgasm but to take the time to know each woman’s vagina individually. The best way to get to know a woman vagina is to have her place her hand on her husband’s and show him what she likes, the pressure, the movement, the rhythm. The same goes for oral sex and intercourse, make it a game and ask questions, have fun with the experience and vaginal exploration. Take the time to get to know each other’s bodies, this may even be after 10 years of marriage because bodies also change with age and what may have worked 10 years ago no longer words now. Do change up the sex in marriage, don’t get into a routine, work on it and have fun with it that is the whole point of really having a great sexual experience with your spouse.

Related articles

• The story of a vagina and why it sometimes doesn't work do we really know why? (thehappyspouse.blogspot.com)
• The best way for a wife can to give her husband oral sex or "head" (thehappyspouse.blogspot.com)
• Couples using Sensate Focus too help with sexual problems in their marriage (thehappyspouse.blogspot.com)
• The shocking facts on masturbation in marriage on The Happy Spouse Adult Show (thehappyspouse.blogspot.com)

The best way for a wife can to give her husband oral sex or "head"

Image via Wikipedia

Oral sex can be a topic that many couples in marriage are often embarrassed to talk about, but in reality it is a natural part of sexual intimacy. Both men and women enjoy oral sex in marriage and especially men enjoy their wives to give them oral sex or “good head”. When talking about oral sex for a man it is important for a woman to find out how to properly perform oral sex on her husband and understand what he likes. Not only is it helpful to know how to engage in oral sex, but also to fully understand a man’s penis and what to do with it.

"I personally wrote this article for women, who are too embarrassed to talk about oral sex with their husbands, but who what to know what to do. As a marriage counselor and sexologist, I feel it is my job to pass on relevant information to other women, and this happens to be one subject that women want to know but will not ask. They may also want to know if oral sex should be a part of the sexual intimacy between husband and wife and how often it should be done. My advice is that men tend to thoroughly enjoy oral sex receiving it and getting it, so it can enhance the sex in marriage quite a bit. The other factor is that sometimes a woman may not want to have intercourse but still wants to please her husband and this a great way to make him a very happy man. The decision to have oral sex and how often should be talked about between a husband and wife. There is no set standard and it will vary in every couple.

The first and most important step about a wife giving her husband oral sex is the fact that she wants to do it. This is a selfless sexual act done by a wife that wants to bring pleasure to her husband for the sole purpose of pleasing him. This is a very powerful statement and needs to be understood by both husband and wife.

He also has to entrust his wife to take the upmost care of his delicate penis while placing it in her mouth. There is nothing sexier than for a wife to want to please her husband in this manner and there is no quicker way to bring a man to orgasm. When a woman is giving her husband oral sex she is in complete control over him, deciding on when to give him pleasure and when to take it away.

he act of oral sex for a wife giving this to her husband is out of love, desire and pleasing him while empowering herself. Many women may see this as a submissive act, but that is far from the truth, again this is about a husband and a wife enjoying the intimacy between them and a man trusting his wife enough to be careful with him and her wanting to bring him pleasure in this way.

What a wife needs to know about a man's penis and the terminology:

Glans (head) this is the top of the penis and is designed for penetration

Corona ridges the tender ridge that encircles the base of the head where it meets the shaft.

Frenulum this is considered the man’s “V” spot which is ultra sensitive and between the head and the shaft.

Meatus (urethra opening) these are like two tiny lips at the head, not a place to poke around in.

Shaft the length of the penis.

Scrotum (ball sack) the soft part that holds the testis.

Prostate (male g-spot) the muscle that creates the semen and can be a point of great pleasure if stimulated properly.

Pubococcygeus Muscle the muscle that encircles the base of the penis and the anus.

Perineum (slang is taint) the nerve ending area of skin between the anus and rectum, which can be very pleasurable for a man if stimulated properly.

How to stimulate the penis

A man has two very sensitive spots on his penis that are rich in nerve endings and that is the "V" spot and the taint, when stimulated properly, with the right pressure, this can add to the pleasure and sensation of a man’s orgasm and the length of time it takes to climax, between 4-10 minutes on average.

A man should be able to achieve an orgasm from oral sex in less than ten minutes, sorry to add a timer to it, but done properly most men will have an orgasm in less than ten minutes and be completely satisfied and worship his lovely beautiful wife who took the time to do it!

How to get the process started and what a woman can do to give her some sexual aids for oral sex. The best product for a woman to use while giving oral sex to her husband is a numbing throat spray for the gauge reflux. This is no joke, after a woman has had a child for some unknown reason her gag reflex may become compromised, and a quick spray of desensitizing gel will solve the problem.

One other problem that can occur with a man is the taste of him and the thickness especially if he has had a vasectomy. When a man has had a vasectomy, it can make his sperm more thick. The resolution is a large glass of pineapple juice the night before. Lastly if a woman wants a little help a stroker and some great lubrication can do the job. Place the lubrication on the penis place the stroker to the base of the penis and insert the head in your mouth while moving the stroker up and down. The pressure and release is orgasmic for a man!

If you dont want to use a stroker you can place your hand at the base of the penis and twist gently while placing the head of the penis in your mouth. If you do not want him to ejaculate in your mouth, you simply move your hand from the base to the tip and catch the cum in your hand. Most women can feel when a man is cuming and many men like to shout it out as well.

Last but not least is a remember to stimulate the "V" spot and if a man will allow you to stimulate the prostate, some little vibrating frisky fingers will add to the overall pleasure. For a wife, knowing how to please her husband with oral sex is a great gift for her!