Friday, September 10, 2010

How do I tell my wife that she is not pleasing me in bed?

What should a man do who is not satisfied with his sex life still loves his wife, doesn’t want to get a divorce but is thinking about having an affair. A husband needs to talk to his wife. This may seem like an obvious answer, but how does a man go about telling his wife that she just is not satisfying him sexually?

The reality of the situation is that many times she is not happy with the sex either. The best way to go about talking about sex with your spouse is to not do it in the bed room but when the two of you have some quite time alone. This way she is not put on the defensive and it is an open and positive discussion. You can even start off by asking her what she likes and what she may not like. Then the two of you can take turns going back and forth. If your wife is shy then ease her into the questioning and make it a few questions at a time within the week. Give her some time to think about it, if she needs it. When the two of you are ready then take it to the bedroom.

Continue to talk about sex while getting intimate with each other, asking if what you are doing feels good to her. Continue to take it slow and check in with each other and make sure that you are both comfortable with what is happening. This may take a few tries to get it right, but at least it will begin to open up the communication between you and your spouse regarding sex.  A great way to break the ice is to buy a sexy game, like truth or dare, poker, there are many sex games available.

Many times couples will have fantasies that they can share with each other, and act out. Some couples can buy books on different sexual positions, or try lubricants, massage oils or sex toys. The possibilities are endless when two people can feel comfortable and talk openly about sex with each other. For couples who just need a little guidance, talk to a sex therapist who is trained in clinical sexology they can help to open up the communications, make suggestions and home assignments for the couple to do together.  Feeling good about your sex life in marriage and pleasing each other will strengthen the bond between husband and wife! 

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