My conversation with a sex therapist
Hi Dawn can you help me please, I have not had sex in three months with my husband and the last time we did, I practically had to beg for it. We have only been married for five years, but after our daughter Megan was born it seemed that Tim my husband just was not interested in having sex with me. Our sex life was great when we first got married, but half way into my pregnancy, I started to have problems and it affected our sex life. Then when Megan was born I did not want to have sex for a few months but after that I slowly recovered and wanted to start to make love again but Tim, did not seem as interested. Now a year has passed and we barely ever do it and when we do I am the only one initiating it. I think that my husband is no longer in love with me what can I do?
Hi Megan, I have a few questions for you, about your husband, first have you directly asked him why he does not want to have sex with you? Sometimes when a man has been refused to have sex with his wife or goes through a life change such as a child, his feelings can get hurt but he may not really understand what affect that may have on him.
Hi Dawn, yes I did ask him and he said that he was just not in the mood, but that he does still love me, but he does not really want to talk about it, he seemed sad though and a little confused.
HI Megan, tell him that sexual intimacy is important and that you love him, that you are attracted to him and that you appreciate all that he has done for you. Tell him that you want to work on the marriage. Do not brush this under the carpet or let it continue, if you don’t resolve this issue now it will become a bigger problem in your marriage later on.
Hi Dawn, I did tell him that last night and he did say that he wants to work on the marriage, but he does not know how, or what to do. I think that you are right and that he was hurt during the time when I refused to have sex with him, but he never really said anything so he seemed like it was ok, but I can see where he may have felt hurt. Thank you for your help, I will continue to talk with him about that time and see how we can move forward.