My conversation with a sex therapist
Hi Dawn can you help me please, I have not had sex in three
months with my husband and the last time we did, I practically had to beg for
it. We have only been married for five
years, but after our daughter Megan was born it seemed that Tim my husband just
was not interested in having sex with me.
Our sex life was great when we first got married, but half way into my pregnancy,
I started to have problems and it affected our sex life. Then when Megan was born I did not want to
have sex for a few months but after that I slowly recovered and wanted to start
to make love again but Tim, did not seem as interested. Now a year has passed and we barely ever do
it and when we do I am the only one initiating it. I think that my husband is no longer in love
with me what can I do?
Hi Megan, I have a few questions for you, about your
husband, first have you directly asked him why he does not want to have sex
with you? Sometimes when a man has been refused
to have sex with his wife or goes through a life change such as a child, his
feelings can get hurt but he may not really understand what affect that may
have on him.
Hi Dawn, yes I did ask him and he said that he was just not
in the mood, but that he does still love me, but he does not really want to
talk about it, he seemed sad though and a little confused.
HI Megan, tell him that sexual intimacy is important and
that you love him, that you are attracted to him and that you appreciate all
that he has done for you. Tell him that
you want to work on the marriage. Do not
brush this under the carpet or let it continue, if you don’t resolve this issue
now it will become a bigger problem in your marriage later on.
Hi Dawn, I did tell him that last night and he did say that
he wants to work on the marriage, but he does not know how, or what to do. I think that you are right and that he was
hurt during the time when I refused to have sex with him, but he never really
said anything so he seemed like it was ok, but I can see where he may have felt
hurt. Thank you for your help, I will
continue to talk with him about that time and see how we can move forward.
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