Saturday, June 29, 2013

When a man is naturally submissive in the bedroom

I had a session with a man who wanted to know how to become more dominant in the bedroom with his wife.  He stated that he had overwhelming fantasies of being told what to do by his wife, but he knew that she would never partake in this type of sex play.  He was struggling with maintaining an erection as well stating that his desire to be submissive to her and to only bring her pleasure was all her could think about.

I suggested to him a few exercises that him and his wife could do, so that he was not always the one having to initiate sex.

Another topic of discussion came up about the feelings he had about being submissive and that they were not likely to go away.  Most of the time if you are a true submissive that is your natural personality, in the bedroom.  Many times people try to deny there sexual preferences or fetishes making them more predominate than they need to be.

He explained that this was a true statement for him, as he tried to control his sexual desire to be submissive only to fall deeper into the fetish admitting that he had gone as far as seeking out a dominatrix to control him and punish him.  After seeing her he felt so guilty that it sent him into a spiral of denying himself any pleasure at all, and therefore unable to even get or maintain an erection with his wife.  Thus resulting in her not being pleased by him, and her crying to him that he was not attracted to her anymore.

What a mess!!!!

In the end after several sessions with him and then some couples intimacy counseling, we were able to fix their sex life.  When his wife was able to enjoy her sessions of controlling the sex play, she found out that she enjoyed it.  She was able to tell her husband what to do and how to please her, she began to feel more comfortable with their sex life and he was able to maintain a stronger longer erection.

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