Thursday, September 19, 2013

Cuckolding From a Psychological Perspective The Intelligent Fetish

The term cuckold in modern terms refers to a sexual fetish in which the fetish is stimulated by their committed partner choosing to have sex with someone else. This is the very basic term of cuckold that is defined, but what is left out is the entire concept of the need of the man to have another man please his wife (significant other) and her wanting it.  That is the basis of most cuckold fantasy, the fringe or as I like to put it the extras can include but are not limited too: The man has a larger penis, in fact larger the better and many times it is a black male that is the man.
The husband many want to watch or he simply may want his wife to have sex and then come back and tell him about it.
There is also the act of humiliation which can range from simple humiliation of penis size comparison to more extreme humiliation of  being punished, put in chastity belt, made to please the other man oral or anal, tied up, or asked to clean out his wife. (To be specific after she has been with another man he is to lick the semen out of her vagina)  There is also a biological component to this as well, him cleaning her out and then having sex with her leaving his sperm inside.

Some men enjoy being sissified where they are asked to dress up and made to look like a women as they watch their wife have sex with many other men and they are not allowed to touch themselves. The psychological component to all of this is interesting as well, most people that are into the cuckolding have a vivid imagination and an active mind.  The eroticism of the act itself is the catalyst not the sex, but the thoughts of it are almost more appealing to men then actually doing it...(The fantasy aspect)

The biological part of cuckolding is fascinating as well, where his sperm will be the dominate sperm ,even if he is not able himself please his wife sexually.  

Some men get triggered into cuckolding by an ex-girlfriend that cheated on them, and somehow instead of it causing him to be jealous it turned him on.  Another dynamic or association is a man that many feel that his penis is too small or not sufficient enough to please his wife.  A third dynamic is that his wife will enjoy being with several well endowed men and not leave him because he is letting her have her fill, but she gets her love and friendship from him.  The problems that does happen with men in general with a wife, is that some of them either turn into poly relationships where the women gets attached to the other man, or she decides that she is no longer interested in this type of relationship with her spouse.  Some men are married for years and never tell their spouse either that they have this fetish.

Does this type of relationship exist, yes it does and can it work, that is the question?  
For some couples it can for a time, but for most couples that I have worked with or spoken with the time is limited and problems do occur.  The fetish is mostly male driven, but there are women that do find an interest in it as well, but not likely to marry a women then expose her to it after the marriage and expect her to accept it.  The relationships that do work are usually the one's when it is open to begin with, and the woman dictates what she does and does not want.

As a clinical sexologist and intimacy counselor, I always welcome new information on topics and this one in particular I find fascinating.  If anyone has a comment to add or discussion more on the topic please feel free to leave your comments below.

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