The Married Cuckold Man

Cuckolding From a Psychological Perspective The Intelligent Fetish

The term cuckold in modern terms refers to a sexual fetish in which the fetish is stimulated by their committed partner choosing to have sex with someone else. This is the very basic term of cuckold that is defined, but what is left out is the entire concept of the need of the man to have another man please his wife (significant other) and her wanting it.  That is the basis of most cuckold fantasy, the fringe or as I like to put it the extras can include but are not limited too: The man has a larger penis, in fact larger the better and many times it is a black male that is the man.

The husband many want to watch or he simply may want his wife to have sex and then come back and tell him about it.

There is also the act of humiliation which can range from simple humiliation of penis size comparison to more extreme humiliation of  being punished, put in chastity belt, made to please the other man oral or anal, tied up, or asked to clean out his wife. (To be specific after she has been with another man he is to lick the semen out of her vagina)  There is also a biological component to this as well, him cleaning her out and then having sex with her leaving his sperm inside.

Some men enjoy being sissified where they are asked to dress up and made to look like a women as they watch their wife have sex with many other men and they are not allowed to touch themselves. The psychological component to all of this is interesting as well, most people that are into the cuckolding have a vivid imagination and an active mind.  The eroticism of the act itself is the catalyst not the sex, but the thoughts of it are almost more appealing to men then actually doing it...(The fantasy aspect)

The biological part of cuckolding is fascinating as well, where his sperm will be the dominate sperm ,even if he is not able himself please his wife sexually.  

Some men get triggered into cuckolding by an ex-girlfriend that cheated on them, and somehow instead of it causing him to be jealous it turned him on.  Another dynamic or association is a man that many feel that his penis is too small or not sufficient enough to please his wife.  A third dynamic is that his wife will enjoy being with several well endowed men and not leave him because he is letting her have her fill, but she gets her love and friendship from him.  The problems that does happen with men in general with a wife, is that some of them either turn into poly relationships where the women gets attached to the other man, or she decides that she is no longer interested in this type of relationship with her spouse.  Some men are married for years and never tell their spouse either that they have this fetish.

Does this type of relationship exist, yes it does and can it work, that is the question?  

For some couples it can for a time, but for most couples that I have worked with or spoken with the time is limited and problems do occur.  The fetish is mostly male driven, but there are women that do find an interest in it as well, but not likely to marry a women then expose her to it after the marriage and expect her to accept it.  The relationships that do work are usually the one's when it is open to begin with, and the woman dictates what she does and does not want.

As a clinical sexologist and intimacy counselor, I always welcome new information on topics and this one in particular I find fascinating.  If anyone has a comment to add or discussion more on the topic please feel free to leave your comments below.

For more information or to set up an appointment with Dawn visit The Happy Spouse

How to tell my wife that I want to be in a Cuckold marriage

As a clinical sexologist and intimacy counselor, men ask for my advice on what to do about their fetishes.  About 80% of the men are married.  for most of the men they have had the fantasy of their fetish before marrying their wife thinking that it will go away but it does not.  One type of fetish that has intrigued me over the years is a man that wants his wife to cuckold him.  He has recurring thoughts and fantasies of his wife having sex with other men and getting pleasure from them.   The husband is usually the one who wants to get his wife involved but he does not know how to go about telling her.  Once in a while I will counsel a couple who wants to explore the cuckolding together, but it is typically the man initiating this fetish.  The idea of  Cuckolding is that it involves another man that the husband wants his wife to have sex with in front of him or hear about it after.  The husband derives much satisfaction from watching his wife get pleasure from another man that typically will have a larger than average size penis.  Another aspect about cuckolding, is the husband needing to be shamed by his wife, and one way is for her to compere his penis size with the other man and let her husband know that his penis is just to small to please her.

Other forms of shaming can go along with the cuckolding as well depending on the scope of the cuckolding session.  Some men like to be tied to a chair and forced to watch, and not allowed to touch themselves while the scenario is being played out in front of them.  Sometimes a wife will place a cock cage or chastity belt on the husband so that he is not able to masturbate.  A wife may also spank her husband as a form of deeper humiliation and domination...

The man who has this fetish, dreams about his wife sharing it with him, but for the most part most men who approach their wives with this idea do not get a positive response.  It either results into a fight, hard feeling or a trial period leading to disaster.  Some women may be more open to it than others, but the majority will not.  Husbands have asked me as a professional about how to approach their wives with their fantasy of cuckolding, and the answer is always to have a session before hand with me to understand how to approach his wife and her possible respond.  I will advise my male clients who are into the cuckolding fantasy is that they need to tell their wives slowly and see what her reaction is.  Some women are more open to the idea of cuckolding than others but unless it is approached in the right manner often time it does not go well.  The history of men telling me their stories before seeing me they did not approach their wives correctly and it closed the door for them altogether. 

The fact is that once a man is interested in this form of a fetish it is hard to stop him from thinking about it and wanting to act on it!

To set up a counseling session with Dr. Dawn Michael go to www.thehappyspouse.com