Reasons why talking about sex is so sexually charged and then considered a sin after marriage?

The reason is because as people we are teased with images, sexy shows, and of course, pornography on the Internet. Thus, many enjoy these pleasures while single, but, once married, suddenly all of those sexy images that turned us on... are now taken away. Once married the only sexy thoughts we should be having are about our spouse.

Many people go so far as to say that if you look at nude images or think about another person during sex when married then that is considered cheating.
Think about how unnatural all of those statements are, and in simple terms, over time, drive many people to "cheat" by watching porn behind their spouse's back.

When people do marry it is not supposed to be the end of looking at sexy pictures or thinking sexy thoughts or even controlling or suppressing the feeling of sleeping with another person. In fact, these feelings are completely natural. What is not natural is to suppress those feeling and shame a spouse for having them.

This does not mean that because we have those thoughts that we should act on them with another person, but simply understand them as a normal part of being human. Then, we can share those thoughts in the bedroom with our spouse (role-playing, fantasy, watching adult movies, erotic novels, sex toys...etc.) This will make the sex in the marriage all that much better and help to maintain a long-term monogamous relationship.

Marriage is not about suppression of sexual desire, but expression of sexual pleasure and freedom with the person who you love. A person with whom you can feel comfortable enough to explore your sexuality and not to be judged but embraced, that is what sex should be like in every marriage.

The Importance of erotic sex play in marriage

I wanted to share my exciting weekend with you at the American Association of Sexuality Educators Counselor and Therapists sexcon conference.  At this conference were some of the leading sex therapists, medical doctors, sex counsels and educators in the nation giving lectures on their new books, studies and finding into human sexuality, mating, dating and marriage.

One of the lectures that I really enjoyed was by Dr. Stella Resnick and it was about erotic sex play in marriage and the importance of how as people we often times forget that part of play, is also sex play.  She talked in detail about the hormones and chemicals that are released in the brain when we can add the fun and joy of play into sex, and how it affects the nervous system.

One of the things that married couples often forget today is to be playful with each other sexually and how this can get the arousal started in the marriage again and then the desires will follow.  She touched upon kissing and how wet kissing and making out with your spouse outside of the bed room actually will stimulate the hormones in the body and that saliva has much sex producing properties when exchanged between lovers. 

She touched on erotic play as well; opening up to erotic play with your spouse and playing out your sexual fantasies together and how different chemicals are released in the brain as well.  As a marriage and sex counselor myself I often talk about erotic play with married couples suggesting that each couple have their own sexual tool box to turn to and add to throughout the marriage.  Many studies suggest that married couples that are the happiest together have the love, the friendship, and also a fun and healthy erotic sex life.

What to do about my wife’s interracial Fantasy?

This question  was asked on my blogtalkradio show "The Happy Spouse Adult Show"

"What to do about my wife's interracial Fantasy", (by author J.C. Davies interracial dating expert and writer).  The radio show theme for the day was asking interesting sex questions and J.C. called in with this one, that a person asked her on her website and she wanted to get my opinion as a sex counselor and marriage counselor..

Dear Racy JC,
You seem like the one person I could ask this question. It's not something I'd go around just saying to anyone.... and I never have till now! I've been married for about 2 years, and it's better than I could have dreamed. We're great for each other. However, my wife has a bit of a "thing” for African-American men (we're both Caucasian)
 click to read full article The Sex Stuff Finally: What to do About my Wife’s Interracial Fantasy?

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The shocking facts on masturbation in marriage on The Happy Spouse Adult Show

When a person gets married does it mean that they are no longer suppose to masturbate or if they do, should it be kept a secret from their spouse?

These are a few of the questions that many people ask me as a sex counselor and marriage counselor. In fact these are the most commonly asked questions but not necessary the ones that people really want to know, those question are the ones we will be talking about. This week on The Happy Spouse Adult Show on blogtalkradio we will be openly talking about masturbation in marriage the good, the bad and the addicted.

The topics that will be discussed are:

Male masturbation through on line pornography sites, is it alright or out of control?

Masturbation to achieve orgasm.

Masturbation because of sexless marriage.

Different and unconventional ways that people masturbate (this you don’t want to miss).

Fears surrounding masturbation.

Couples masturbating together.

The positive aspects of masturbation in marriage.

The negative aspect of masturbation in marriage.

Sex products used for masturbation, dolls, vagina and ass, stokers, vibrators, and more.

For questions that you may want answered on the live show e-mail to dawn@thehappyspouse.com or tune in this Thursday March 17th at noon standard pacific time to blogtalkradio and call in with your questions 1 (805) 285-9800 or call in through Skype.

Have a happy day from your L.A sex counselor and marriage counselor Dawn Michael visits me at The Happy Spouse. For appointments with Dawn Michael go to http://www.thehappyspouse.com/

For Adult Lubrication and Sex Toys

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