How To Get My Wife Interested in a Cuckold Marriage

Bedroom Talk: How Often Should Couples Be Having Sex?

What are your thoughts on this topic, please leave your comments!

Maintenance Sex Is Crucial To Your Wellbeing

Maintaining optimal health in all areas of your life will have a direct impact on your overall wellbeing.  Most people will agree that maintaining your weight, your appearance, overall health, and even promoting healthy relationships is crucial to a healthy lifestyle.   

When a person is in a long term relationship it is crucial to maintain a healthy sex life that both people enjoy.  Not only is maintenance sex healthy for the relationship but it is also healthy for the body and the mind.  Having regular orgasms can regulate hormones, strength PC muscles, relieves stress and bring a couple closer together by sharing deeper intimacy.  Maintenance sex should not be confused with duty sex or have a negative stigma attached to it.  Over all optimal maintenance sex should involve both people having an orgasm and enjoyment of the experience.

For men their bodies adjust to a pattern of sexual release, if they are not climaxing with their partner then most men will masturbate to keep that sexual routine going.  If a man suddenly changes his sexual routine to limited climaxing, then he may feel a decrease in desire and even lower testosterone levels over time.  Having maintenance sex is one way to elevate this as well as provide optimal health.

For women having maintenance sex with orgasm, can help to strengthen PC muscles, regulate her hormones and have a positive effect on her desire.  When having an orgasm, powerful hormones are released that help to relieve stress as well as temporary pain relief.  In some women with chronic UTI maintain sex 3 times a week can help lessen chronic UTI from happening, as the body becomes used to the bacteria and is less likely to be affected by it, referred to as Honeymoon cystitis. 

Maintenance sex should be placed in the category of optimal health benefits and be enjoyed from that same perspective.  One thing for sure, those couples that do have maintenance sex reported a closer intimate relationship with their spouse as well as less fighting over the little things.

Intimacy counseling for you!  Visit www.thehappyspouse.com to set up your appointment today!

For information on Sex Therapy with Dawn Michael M.A. call (805) 732-7847 or visit her website. Dawn is an international Sex Therapist and relationship coach; she has been helping individuals and couples for years to create better intimacy in their lives. Dawn is also a Clinical Sexologist with information on sexual health issues, men's and women's sexual health and healing.

Mention article on Squidoo for 20% discount off on your first session.

Enjoying sex in the moment

The art of being able to enjoy sex in the moment is one of the most difficult concepts for people to understand. One way to explain it in simpler terms is to compare it to a great movie; you let the movie take you over, not expecting, or wanting to get to the end. Enjoying sex in the moment also takes the pressure off of the experience. Pressure to perform in any sexual way can stop a person form having an orgasm.


As a professional sexologist and therapist, I have both men and women who have anxiety issues when it comes to having sex. People tend to view sex as a duty or a way to achieve orgasm instead of just the enjoyment of sex itself. The sexual intimacy that two people have during sex can be even better when the expectations are no longer there.


How to enjoy sex in the moment:

1. Don’t go into the sexual experience expecting an outcome.

2. Don’t make the sexual experience about the orgasm

3. Do focus your sexual attention on your partner the way they feel, look, ect.

4. Take the time to experience something new for yourself, change positions.

5. Look at sex as fun, enjoyment, an expression of sensuality and sexuality.

6. Introduce a new sex toy, new lubrication, body paint, or massage oil….add some flavor to the experience.



For more information on how to make sex better in your relationship visit The Happy Spouse.

All Natural Body Cream For Women to Increase Sex Drive

Married women who are unable to have orgasms with their husbands

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3I6wivc0jU&feature=relmfu
This is a topic that is not discussed at ease; many times women just live with the fact that sex is not enjoyable.

Image by Johan31000 via FlickrThe truth is that sex is suppose to be enjoyable and if you are a woman who has not experienced an orgasm it can be extremely frustrating. The frustration can lead to not wanting to have sex or just having to get it over with. The human body especially the female body was designed by nature to enjoy sex that is why women have a clitoris. The sole function of the clitoris is for pleaser, hence orgasm. Orgasm is what brings a husband and wife closer together releasing the powerful hormone oxytocin.

Sexual frustration can come out in many ways, such as over eating, drinking, depression, moodiness, cramping during menstruation. Having orgasms can reduce stress, while making sex with your spouse an “Orgasmic Experience”. As a sex therapist and marriage counselor I am offering a 6 week course on female orgasm.

For more information go to:

http://draft.blogger.com/goog_581187908


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Women Reduce Hot Flashes and Increase Sex Drive

For many women in their late 40's and 50's it can be a time of change that my come on gradual or all of a sudden.  The female body may at times feel sudden hot flashes along with a decrease in vaginal fluid making it difficult for women to get aroused and feel sexual desire.

So how do you stop hot flashes? Or at least reduce them?

In a disturbing trend that has some critics second-guessing the medical field, a growing number of doctors are prescribing anti-depressants to reduce hot flashes in women.

Escitalopram, also known as Cipralex, is quickly becoming the pharmaceutical answer of choice for doctors looking to relieve their ever increasing waves of menopausal women looking to escape the evils of hot flashes.

There is some validity for using Cipralex to ease hot flash symptoms. According to a recent study published in the Journal of the American Medical Association, 55% of women given Cipralex for eight weeks reported a reduction in hot flashes by at least fifty per cent.

Using anti-depressants to soften the hot flash blow isn't limited to Cipralex. Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors, or SSRI's, are also being used to inhibit hot flashes. SSRI's boost serotonin levels in the brain. Serotonin is sometimes called the happiness hormone and is thought to influence hot flashes.

The problem with otherwise healthy women using psychiatric drugs to treat hot flashes is that it exposes them to the anti-depressive properties the drugs were designed for even though they're not suffering from depressive symptoms.

What's more, anti-depressants produce withdrawal effects, including dizziness and insomnia, not to mention a decrease in sexual desire.

Over the years, there have been other attempts to find a solution to reduce hot flash symptoms. Hormone treatments initially showed promise in easing hot flashes and in some women it did, but it can also increase the risk of stroke, heart attack and breast cancer.  Not all women are at the same risk as others, but my first choice before going the pharmaceutical route is to try more of a natural overall biological plan for the female body. There is an alternative available to women looking to reduce hot flashes. Without pharmaceuticals. Without withdrawal symptoms or increased risk of breast cancer and heart attack.

There's Provestra.

Formulated with a series of all-natural ingredients, including theobromine, ginkgo, biloba, red raspberry and ginseng, Provestra is a natural libido enhancement therapy for women looking to put passionate sex back in their lives.

The good news for women suffering from hot flashes is that ginseng has been used since ancient times for its ability to ease symptoms of menopause. This makes Provestra a healthy and effective method for women to reduce hot flashes.  Not only does it reduce hot flashes it helps with, vaginal dryness, fewer mood swings, more lubrication, increased sexual desire and boosted sex drive.

Provestra's safe too, being cGMP certified and compliant. All of Provestra's raw materials are tested for purity before production, and Provestra uses the same pharmaceutical manufacturer used by major clients, including Albertson's, Rite Aid and Wal-Mart to manufacture life-saving drugs.

To conclude, let's review your options to alleviate hot flashes.
You can:


a) Ask a doctor to prescribe an anti-depressant, even if you don't require it for psychiatric reasons, and expose yourself to the risks and withdrawal symptoms associated with this scenario.


b) Experiment with hormone pills, despite the elevated risk of heart attack and breast cancer in some women.
OR


c) Put some Provestra in your life and reduce hot flashes using natural and proven herbals, and experience side effects including reduced vaginal dryness, increased sexual thoughts, desire and sexual activity.


Gee, that's a tough call to make!

Why a Man Does Not Want to Have Sex With His Wife

This is a topic that most people find taboo, that a man does not want to have sex with his wife. Men are expected to be the ones pursuing the sex, not the woman, so what happens when she pursues him and then he rejects her?

This is a problem that may continue to happen especially in a depressed economy where the men are stressed, not performing in the bedroom and have lost their desire to have sex... The situation is often two fold and this is where in the beginning stages the couple can get the help that they need before too much hurt and resentment set in.


A mans ego is tied to his ability to take care of his family and when he losses his job or is in a position of stress over finances it can affect his performance in the bedroom. At this point a man may still have desire for his wife, but get in the frame of mind where he is so stressed that he losses his erection or can’t perform at all. Then the cycle begins where he gives up on sex altogether even when asked for by his wife.

When a woman gets rejected by her husband after she has approach him for sex, she may internalize this as her husband no longer being attracted to her or desiring her.  The difference between this happening to a man is that in many ways society jokes about how sex is over when a man gets married, but happens when it’s the women. Women find it very difficult to talk about their husbands not wanting to have sex with them for fear of embarrassment.

As a sex therapist and marriage counselor I work with couples in this situation and help them to open up and communicate with one another about their sex lives. This is a big part of the problem and that is they expect each other to fix the situation without really knowing what to fix.

Comments

Steve says



There are a lot of reasons to not have sex with your wife, here are a few: she is no longer attracted to him, he is no longer attracted to her, she is in poor health, he is in poor health, it is too physically difficult, he is cheating, she is cheating, they have agreed to stay together for other reasons, she does not enjoy it, he does not enjoy it, they do not have sufficient privacy, etc.
Perhaps his libido is low and he has no interest in sex at all. Maybe they had enough sex to last a long time. Maybe he is afraid he will be rejected. He does not like himself, how could she? She doesn't like herself how could he?

They are finished having children, they do not need to have sex anymore. They do not want to have any more children but have no other birth control.

Sassypoetic says

If all husbands truly love their wives, they would have desires for only their wives... And if he is rejecting her she need to communicate quickly and see what the problem is and spice things up, also many times a man might be going through something.. It's best to be open minded and ask questions.. Because the last thing a wife wants is for some other woman to satisfy her husband's sexual appetite.

Pollyannalana says

He could have sexual problems or preferences he does not even realize. Some husbands let porn destroy their marriages; some are just not interested in sex. There is always help somewhere, they should not waste time for them or their mate and find the answer to not waste time in their life.

More comments

Can Penis Exercises Really Increase Size?

Image by Waldo Jaquith via Flickr
Most of us have grown in up in a different era of information than the youth of today. A standard source of information for years gone by was something that could be seen in many homes across the world and that was the infamous yellow covered National Geographic Magazine.

All those fascinating articles and compelling photographs from distant lands and far off places were mesmerising to everyone in the whole family who picked it up to read. There were certainly many children whose education was expanded way beyond the interesting pictures of exotic animals and strange looking plants and people.

Those mainstream magazines also were a great source of giggling and sex education that seemed to elude parent’s and teacher’s eagle eyes. The fascinating pictures from Africa and other exotic places often depicted woman and men almost completely naked and baring all to see. They showed adornments and piercings in seemingly strange places. Often ear lobes and even lips were stretched far beyond what seems normal and certainly looked painful to the uneducated eye.

But the practice of doing seemingly strange traditions that involve the stretching of skin, muscles, tissues, and even limps is not something new to our generation. Centuries of tradition and culture have seen many people enlarge different areas of their bodies for cultural and esthetical reasons. So even something as taboo in our culture as penis enlargement is certainly nothing new either. Long before there were options to take a risk and go under a knife or take a pill, people all over the world were able to stretch their penises without pain or drugs. And with the advent of modern technologies and the miracle of modern science, these ancient practices and traditions are available at your fingertips, certainly without having to travel to any faraway place.

The folks who have put together the For Men Only CD™ have made all those techniques accessible for everyone. Their team of researchers and doctors have spent years working hard just for men like you and now they have compiled the best of the best and have put together a complete array of effective penis enlargement exercises that are easy to do and completely effective. You do not have to go to a doctor and have an embarrassing conversation or risk being told that your penis is average and not to worry. No, you can simply order this amazing CD today and then sit back in the privacy and comfort of your own home and soon you will see the direct results! Not only will you be completely satisfied with the progress that a few simple exercises a day will produce, but your partner will be thrilled as well. No more penal envy for you – no way. Soon you will be the one boasting in the men’s locker room. So what are you waiting for – order your For Men Only CD™ today and start on the amazing journey of getting the penis size that you have always wanted and having great sex tomorrow!


For more information, go to ErectionFitness.com

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Reasons why you may not want to have sex in a relationship

Image via WikipediaSexuality is one of the most complex parts about being human.

The reasons why sexuality is a constant struggle for many adults is because they suppress their feelings to be acceptable or normal in the view of society.

This has been the case for centuries dating back to the cave man era where human sexuality was part of survival.  Religion along with societies influences did not come into play at that time.

As society developes, the human mind expands, we moved beyond survival into farming, industry, media….constraints were placed on human sexuality, mating, marriage, family. The idea of being with the same person year after year for extended periods of time is not natural to the human animal and for many people it is a fight. In marriage couples often times will have shame, deception, cheating, because they feel like they cannot sexually allow themselves to be who they want to be. Most married couples will have times throughout their marriage where sex can become an issue not getting enough or not getting fulfilling sex. The worst part of all of it is the lack of communication between the couple surrounding sex.

We have been conditioned not to talk about sex especially with our spouse, it is expected to just know what to do, but the truth of the matter is very few people do know what to do. They stay in marriages where the sex is non-existent or not what they expected…

 As a sex therapist I find that the couples who don’t take action and fix the sex in the marriage will cheat and deceive each other or it ends in divorce. Don’t wait until it is too late to make the marriage work, work at the marriage. For sex therapy and marriage counseling call Dawn (805) 732-7847or leave a comment below!

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Talking Dirty to Your Spouse is A Turn On

As a sex therapist I encourage couples to talk dirty to one another.

These are the reasons why!!

It quickly breaks down the barriers of being shy and having a lack of communication surrounding sex with one another.

Talking dirty can be a really huge turn on for some couples getting their minds and bodies involved in the sexual act.

For other couples it can become comedic and they laugh about it for days, again breaking down the shyness or uncomfortable feelings surrounding sex.

One of my favorite home assignments for couples is to use sex words with each other in the bedroom. It does not matter if the couple thinks it is crazy, disgusting or down right hot the point is to get the couple talking openly about sex. The reality is that you are doing it with the person that you love, in most cases have been with for quite a while; married and even have had children together.

Sex is suppose top be fun, not boring, not routine, not a chore, and certainly not clean!! So the next time you are having sex with your spouse turn to that person and say “I really love fucking you, you’re hot”

Tell me what you think or what turns you on in the bedroom, don’t be shy start a discussion!!!

Having orgasms as a way to strengthen a relationship and relieve pain

Image via WikipediaHaving regular orgasms is an important part of bonding and can help to relieve pain.

The fact that two people are able to orgasm together brings each other pleasure and is a wonderful release producing hormones that make a person feel better.

One of those hormones that is released is oxytocin and this is a powerful natural painkiller, responsible for bonding. The part about reduction of pain is fascinating and has been research that I have studied over the years. As a Sex Therapist working with clients that have chronic pain symptoms,  orgasms have been a part of the natural pain relief. The one aspect about achieving orgasm is also getting the body to relax, this is part of the mind body experience is learned over time.

As a woman each month goes through menstrual pain, one of the best ways to relieve this pain naturally is by having orgasms. The wonderful aspect about orgasm is that it can be a solo act or one that is shared.

Watch video on women and orgasm

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Sex in the morning for a man may be best

Sex can be better for a man in the morning that has problems with maintaining an erection. A man unlike a woman has a cycle but a man's cycle throughout a day whereas a women's cycle is throughout the month.  

Men in a day will have higher testosterone levels in the morning and it will gradually lower as the day progresses, along with  the stress of the day. This would suggest that moring sex is going to be the best time for a man to have intercourse.

In the morning a man will wake up with a full erection, this does not alway mean that he is ready for sex, but his body is physically more able to maintain a harder erection.  His level of testosterone is at it's peak. 

For more informtion on sexual issues or help with erection issues go to Sex Therapy

When did the idea of self pleasure become a sin?

The topic of self pleasure has caused a mind blowing amount of negative connotation, throughout the centuries.

I am referring to masturbation but I am also refereeing to more than just masturbation, what feels good mentally and physically. Why is there such a negative label put on the term masturbation when in scientific terms it is as natural as scratching an itch. The reason that it has such a negative stigma is that many people think that by denying their bodies the pleasure of masturbation they will somehow be in control of their sexual self. This is in fact the complete opposite effect on most people when denied to masturbate.

This can be looked at as sexual starvation in terms of our animal instinct like food, water, shelter, sleep. All of these elements are natural, nature intended to keep our bodies running at optimal levels when we can regulate this part of our life in harmony and moderation. The extreme of course is over indulgence, and that is not good to overindulge our bodies either in anything. When any of these natural elements are taken away from us as humans or made to feel shame over than it can become a dysfunction. Just as one may starve themselves of food and become anorexia or extremely overindulged and become obese, the same principal can be said for starving our bodies from sexual release or over indulging our bodies and masturbate excessively.

People in their purest human form are of animal instinct and our basic need to release our sexual urges as our animal selves does not just go away. One of the safest and most natural ways to release sexual tension is through masturbation.

The fact is the more that we can as a society talk openly about self pleasing in the form of masturbation than the more it can become acceptable in society.

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Sexless marriage poll, how do you do?

How many people are living in a sexless marriage? 

Take the test and see for yourself.  The test can be taken alone or with your spouse to see how the two of you feel about sex in your marriage.  Once taken you can compare your results with others, and leave a comment.  The test is free, confidential and if you like it, you can pass it on and then check back for more results. The more people that take the test the more interesting the results become.

The other part about this poll is it has a comparison for men and women, and don't be surprised if the same questions are answered completely different.

http://www.squidoo.com/sexless-marriage-advice-poll-on-staying-or-leaving-the-marriage

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Erectile dysfunction and rapid ejaculation

Image via Wikipedia

Erectile dysfunction is a problem that can develop as a result of performance anxiety or it can also be the initial cause then leading to performance anxiety. Many men throughout their lives may experience times of not having control over their erection, ejaculation, or fear of performance. Such isolated episodes of losing an erection do not mean that a man has a sexual dysfunction. They may occur as a result of a temporary physical stress (getting sick, too much alcohol or drug use, even overeating and rapid weight gain), or it may be relate to other problems like anxiety with a new partner, problems ejaculating to quickly, lack of confidence with sexual performance. When a man can understand that this may be normal or just has happened for a short period of time, then he can learn to overcome his anxiety.


The other problem that may occur with erectile dysfunction is when a man is anxious it can trigger the same arousal state in the brain causing a man to prematurely ejaculate even when he is not fully erect. One way to help with both of these problems is to seek help from a sex counselor that can coach a man through his negative thoughts and anxious feelings making it easier for him to be more comfortable and confident when the time does arise for sexual intimacy. These techniques can also be used with a partner and this can be a great benefit for both of the individuals in their relationship.

For help with erectile dysfunction visit Dawn

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The importance of nurturing the friendship in your marriage

Image via Wikipedia

Is your spouse your best friend? The one person that knows you better than anyone else.   You can turn to them when you are down, when you need a hug or a shoulder to cry on?

When marriage can promote friendship between husband and wife it can become a safe haven for expressing ones emotions and knowing that the other person really cares about you and loves you.

When a person has to hide their emotions from a spouse or is unable to tell their spouse how they really feel then the spouse is not a best friend. When a person goes outside of the marriage to be understood or to find a friend then the intimacy of friendship in the marriage is compromised. 

People have forgotten how to be friends with their spouse or have just given up trying. Without the friendship in the marriage it is difficult to work on the rest of the marriage, the intimacy in the marriage, the love or the passion in the marriage that was once there. Couples get into a pattern of being stuck and sometimes just don’t know how to start to be friends with their spouse again. Others have found that maybe the person that they married is not the same person anymore and the relationship and the friendship have changed.

Nurturing friendship in marriage has to stat with wanting to have your spouse as your friend, seeing the value in the relationship, and taking the steps to add the friendship back into the marriage. The steps that a person takes to put the friendship back into the marriage are similar to the steps that were taken to get into the marriage to begin with. The steps are about dating your spouse, getting to know what they like, what interests them, showing affection, listening, communicating and doing all the steps that you would be doing if you wanted to really get to know that person. Get involved in an activity that you both enjoy, it can be cooking, hiking, yoga, skiing, whatever it is that you both may enjoy. This is called nurturing the friendship, just like you nurture a child, or a pet, it is the same concept as nurturing the friendship in the marriage. It takes time, and persistence and willingness to want to make it work.

The benefits that will come from your spouse being your best friend are enormous, and as couples grow older and age together, many times it is the friendship in the marriage that the couple relies on and depends on. When couples nurture the friendship in the marriage, then they know that they have a friend in their spouse to be there for the good times and the bad times, in sickness and in health and most important to have a friend to grow old with.

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Sexual compatibility test and score

                                      

 Scroll down to get the score to your test after taking it!
The Ten Questions

Ten question test to determine if you and your spouse are sexually compatible.

1. Do you like the way that your spouse kisses?

2. Does your spouse bring you to climax or orgasm?

3.  Do you think about your spouse when you are making love to him/her?

4.  Do you like the way your spouse smells?
5.  Are you still attracted to your spouse, do you like the way they look?

6.  Does your spouse know your true fantasies?

7.  Do you like the way your spouse’s voice sounds?

8.  Does your spouse touch you the way you like?

9.  Do you have open communication when it comes to sex?
10.  Do you desire your spouse?

Answers to your questions

Do you like the way that your spouse kisses?

The way you and your spouse kiss is very important and it should be one of the qualities about them that you enjoy! When couples exchange passionate kisses the saliva contains hormones that produce feeling of desire.  Kissing outside the bedroom is as important as inside the bedroom.  Kissing is an art and can be adjusted if not done the way you like experiment with different ways of kissing.  Long passionate kisses, sexy kisses, biting each others lips softly.....experiment until you get it right!

2 points if you put yes

1 point if you put sometimes

0 if you put never

Does your spouse bring you to climax or orgasm?

This is very important in a marriage and that is being able to bring pleasure to one another through climax. The fact is if you don’t have this with your spouse that does not necessarily mean that you are not compatible, it means that the two of you have some couples works to do in the bedroom. Once the two of you can learn to please each other the sexual part of the marriage and the overall marriage will improve! Knowing how to pleasure your spouse and bring them to climax with strengthen the bond of the marriage and make sex all that much more enjoyable for both of you. When a person is able to have an orgasm with their spouse it releases powerful hormones, that create closeness and bonding.  If you answered no, don’t throw in the towel yet get some help first!

2 points if yes

1 point if sometimes

0 points if never

Do you think about your spouse when you are making love to them?

This is a fun question and the answer is that you probably will have times when you are not thinking about your spouse while having sex with them and this is alright, but not all of the time. The real test is the times that you do think about them and are present in the love making session with them, mind, body and soul that counts. When thinking about them during sexual intercourse does it turn you on or off? If it turns you off then, you may not be compatible with them, or you may need to work on the communication in the marriage. There should be times when you make love with your spouse you are focused on them and they are the one who are turning you on.

2 points of yes

2 point if most of the time

1 point if sometimes

0 points if never

Do you like the way your spouse smells?

Believe it or not smell is important, and our body chemistry can change as we get older, what we may eat or not, and if we gain weight. Smell is one of the hidden senses that may have been part of the attraction to your spouse to begin with called pheromones. When a couple truly loves the way that their partner smells it is a big turn on sexually, of course if a partner hates how the other person smells it can also be a huge turn off. The way to really understand if a couple is attracted to each other’s natural pheromones is to remember when you first met and if the way they smelled then was attractive or not? Diet can play a very big role in the way a person smells, and excessive weight can change the entire chemistry make-up of the body. Certain vitamins and even fish oil can change the smell of woman's vaginal secretions as well as body odor. Take the time to understand the smell of your partner and see if diet changes and weight loss will help to bring back the natural smell of them that you first fell in love with.  The fact is that biology plays a big role in this as humans women have a stronger sense of smell when it comes to picking a mate, if your smell is what attracted her to you, then it can come back with exercise and eating healthy.

2 points yes his natural scent turns me on

1 point it is neither a turn on or turn off

0 not it does not turn me on.

-1 his or her smell turns me off!

Are you physically attracted to your spouse? 

Both men and women can be visual, more so a man than a woman but it can go both ways. When we marry our spouse there is usually attraction visually to begin with and chemistry to go along with it. The reason that chemistry is grouped with looks is that it goes together many times; a person can have a certain look that attracts that person to them and creates a feeling inside just by looking at them. As we grow older and even put on weight, the chemistry may still be there and the couple can still have attraction to one another and the looks may not be that important. The other may happen as well, the one look that created that chemistry may be gone and that person is just no longer attracted to their spouse. What do you do in this case? Sometimes a healthy life style can bring back that chemistry and sometimes it can’t. This is a negative check on the sexual compatibility test, if these feeling are gone; it’s hard to have great sex with someone that you are just not attracted to at all.

2 points for yes
1 point or yes if they lost weight or took better care of themselves
-1 point for not at all anymore
0 points for not that important

Does your spouse know your true fantasies?

Does your spouse know what your true sexual fantasies really are? Have you shared them with your spouse?  Many couples will not share their fantasies with their spouse and this is not going to be productive in love making. A spouse should know what you like and see if they want to take part in your fantasy or not. As years go by in a marriage, not being able to share fantasies can frustrate a person in the bedroom and they may seek another person outside of the marriage to fulfill their fantasies. Have you shared your fantasy with your spouse? How will you know if the two of you are truly sexually compatible if you haven’t?

2 points yes we do share our sexual fantasies with each other.
1 Sometimes we do
1 I want to work on it in the marriage, I am open to trying
0 No we never do

Do you like the way your spouse’s voice sounds?

Does the sound of their voice turn you on or completely irritate you? The sound of a male or female voice should be appealing to their partner. Many women will find a man’s voice sexy and will want to hear them talk to them in the bedroom. This can work for a man as well if he finds his wife’s voice sexy or the sounds that she makes during love making. This is not necessarily a deal breaker but it is a plus if you do find your spouse’s voice sexy. If it just completely irritates you then you may need to think about what other problems may be going on in the marriage.

2 points very sexy
1 point I like their voice
-1 I find their voice irritating

Does your spouse touch you the way you like?

Does their touch excite you, is the pressure good, is it enough, in the right places, these are all very important parts of the sexual life of the couple. A spouse’s touch should bring pleasure, not pain and not disgust. Couples can work on touch through counseling and sensate focus techniques; it is possible to learn to touch your spouse in a pleasing way. If a spouses touch disgusts you or upsets you then there is a bigger problem going on in the marriage. This may be a big red flag for sexual incapability or unresolved anger issues with the spouse.

2 points yes I like their touch
1 point I like their touch but we can work on it
0 points no I dont really care
-1 point I dont like the way they touch me at all

Do you have open communication when it comes to sex?

Are you and your spouse able to talk about sex in your marriage, what are your likes and dislikes, how often do you and your spouse want to have sex. If you don’t want to have sex what do you tell your spouse, how do you say it to them. Are feelings getting hurt concerning sex? Are you continually turning a spouse away? Communication surrounding a couple’s sex life is paramount in a marriage and if you are not able to be open and honest with your spouse then this could lead to some very deep a hurtful feelings in the marriage. If you are not able to talk about sex with your spouse then your marriage could be in danger! Get help for this one, the issues can be resolved in many cases.

2 points yes we communicate about sex.
1 point we cometimes do
0 points we never talk about sex

Do you desire your spouse?

Do you still think that your spouse is sexy, do you ever look at them across the room and desire them, want them, have sexual urges towards them? This is so important for both a man and women. Part of desire is passion that you still have inside of you and desire that you still have for them. Has your mind and body become numb to passion and desire? If so and it is you then go see a doctor especially for women and get your hormones checked, or for a man physical fitness and health can play a huge role in lack of desire, also for both men and women it can be depression. The truth is in a marriage from time to time you should still be able to have those feelings of desire for your spouse and if you don’t, then action needs to be taken immediately. Having passion and desire for your spouse will increase sexual pleasure. This can be a sign of not having sexual capability with your spouse if those feeling were never there to begin with.

2 points yes I desire my spouse
1 point sometime I do but we can still work on it
0 I have no desire for my spouse

What was your score?

20-18 points you and your spouse have great compatibility!

17-15 points you and your spouse are compatible, but can add a little more spice to your love making.

14-10 It looks like you are still compatible but if you don't put the energy into the sex in the marriage you may be heading down the road of a sexless marriage.

9-5 Get help now for your marriage or if you are not married then think twice about getting married, there may be some serious problems down the road.

4 and below, you and your spouse are not compatible and it seems like the marriage may be over, you may want to think about divorce.

Your comment and feedback are welcome click back to Squidoo to leave your score

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Can having an open marriage save couples from cheating?

What are the hard facts about an open marriage?

Some married couples have opted for an open marriage instead of getting a divorce. The fact about an open marriage is that for many people it goes against what true marriage is all about.

The vows that a married couple takes to be faithful to one another, honest and untill death do we part. What happens if a spouse is so miserable in the marriage and their partner does nothing about it but they do not want to break up the marriage or go behind their spouses back and cheat so they opt for an open marriage?


This is one of the latest trends happening in Hollywood today. Featured in an article in the Examiner.

 Open marriage in Los Angeles is it the latest trend in marriages
http://www.examiner.com/love-and-marriage-in-los-angeles/open-marriage-los-angeles-is-it-the-latest-trend-marriages


Los Angeles has always been a culture on its own, with Hollywood, Beverly Hills, Westwood. Many people that are single prefer to live in this exciting and unique town, but what happens if you are married and even are trying to raise a family in Los Angeles